A team meeting at the Miami Dolphins mini-camp.
Later that day...
And I know all about the crazy shit you used to pull back at Iowa. Sending quarterbacks out into the woods to fight goddamn bears or some shit... HELL NO. I don't mess with bears. No fuckin' way.
You ain't really trying to deny that you sent them poor dumb quarterbacks out into the woods to fight bears, are you? I've seen the stories, man!
So what, then? Gators? You gonna have me fight gators? 'Cause I don't mess with them either. I talked to Brandon...
Well, I already met a bunch of the guys. We've been getting close. Reggie was pretty cool. Ryan said he was gonna look my way every play, but, shit, you know quarterbacks... they're always talking nonsense like that.
Two hours later...
Yo, Kenny, where the hell are these dolphins at? How do you know they're still in danger anyway? We been out here forever. Also, I'm no zoologist, but I'm pretty sure dolphins don't live in the forest.
Chad and Ken step into the clearing
And then Kirk started catching wind of what I was up to and threatened to expose me. Feeble-brained pissant. He was always holding me down, always reining in my genius! So when Joe got the job with the Dolphins, I said "A-ha! There's ol' Kenny's exit strategy! No fuss, no muss!"
A hissing noise fills the air
Suddenly, Chad Ochocino wakes with a start.
Oh god. I had this horrible nightmare. You led me out into the woods and told me we needed to rescue dolphins and then there was this crazy monster that you'd made, half-bear and half-alligator, and it tried to eat me so I started running and I kept running and finally I got to this stream and I thought I was safe but when I turned around there was this giant snake-fish thing and it went to eat me and then - BAM - I woke up.
- fin -