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Fran And Gary Have A Chat

Iconbarta_medium Fran? Can you step into my office, please? We need to talk.

Iconmccaffrey_medium Hmm? Oh sure, Gary.

Iconbarta_medium Mr. Barta will be fine thank y--

Iconmccaffrey_medium /withering stare

Iconbarta_medium Uh, right.

Iconmccaffrey_medium /clears throat

Iconbarta_medium Right. So it's about these new rules the NCAA is talking about.

Iconmccaffrey_medium The ones about the on-court decals? Are they going to kill Mediacom Court?

Iconbarta_medium Ha! As if they could ever destroy such a glorious institution and wonderful, consumer-friendly product!

Iconbarta_medium No, Mediacom Court will be just fine. In fact, the boys in Des Moines tell me they have some exciting new ideas about holograms...

Iconmccaffrey_medium Unless that hologram features Sharm Scheuerman taking a dump on a Mediacom logo, I don't care.

Iconbarta_medium Uh, probably not. Your knowledge of Iowa basketball history is incredible, though. Todd just kept watching "Hoosiers" on a continuous loop. ANYWAY --

Iconbarta_medium -- it's about their crackdown on coaching "antics," Fran.

Wrath_of_fran_icon_medium WHAT?

Why_always_fran_medium

Iconbarta_medium They want to outlaw the "Wrath of Fran."

http://picasion.com

Wrath_of_fran_icon_medium THIS IS A GODDAMN OUTRAGE.

Wrath_of_fran_icon_medium IT'S MY GODDAMN RIGHT AS AN AMERICAN TO BITCH OUT INCOMPETENT REFEREES AND TELL THEM WHAT A BUNCH OF COMPLETELY SHIT-BRAINED ASSCLOWNS I THINK THEY ARE.

Wrath_of_fran_icon_medium I MEAN, DON'T GET ME WRONG -- IT'S FLATTERING AS HELL THAT THEY'RE GOING OUT OF THEIR WAY TO CHANGE THE RULES BECAUSE OF ME. BOBBY THREW A CHAIR AND CHOKED A BITCH AND THEY NEVER DID ANYTHING ABOUT IT.

Wrath_of_fran_icon_medium SUCK IT, KNIGHT!

Iconbarta_medium Well, they said it's bad sportsmanship and they want to clean that up, so --

Wrath_of_fran_icon_medium /dismissive wanking motion

Wrath_of_fran_icon_medium THEY CARE ABOUT "SPORTSMANSHIP" WHEN IT'S CONVENIENT FOR THEM AND NOT A SECOND LONGER.

Wrath_of_fran_icon_medium YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE ISN'T VERY SPORTING? ED HIGHTOWER PRANCING AROUND LIKE A GODDAMN SHOW PONY. ARE THEY OUTLAWING THAT TOO?

Iconbarta_medium Uh, I don't think so.

Wrath_of_fran_icon_medium COLOR ME SHOCKED.

Iconbarta_medium Right. My source in the NCAA office also said it was a safety issue.

Wrath_of_fran_icon_medium SAFETY?

Iconbarta_medium Yeah. I think they're afraid you might snap and do this to Ed.

Triple-h-hitting-referee-with-hammer-in-the-ring-300x228_medium

Wrath_of_fran_icon_medium NONSENSE. I'D USE MY BARE FISTS TO TEACH HIM SOME RESPECT.

Fran_and_ed_medium
(all apologies to Horace and storminspank, who made the original images used here)

Iconbarta_medium Um...

Wrath_of_fran_icon_medium OR A CHAIR.

Iconbarta_medium Speaking of that... he also said they're concerned about escalation.

Wrath_of_fran_icon_medium ESCALATION?

Iconbarta_medium Yeah. Like this.

Iconbarta_medium Or this.

Wrath_of_fran_icon_medium NONSENSE! THAT'S RIDICULOUS! SERIOUSLY, DON'T THEY KNOW MOST OF THE CHAIRS IN THE ARENA ARE BOLTED DOWN? I KNOW, I'VE CHECKED.

Iconbarta_medium Don't mention that to them. Please.

Wrath_of_fran_icon_medium SO WHAT'S THE ENDGAME HERE, GB?

Iconbarta_medium Well, no more chair-throwing. That's done.

Wrath_of_fran_icon_medium FEH. SO MUCH FOR GIVING OL' EDDIE A ONE-MAN CONCHAIRTO NEXT YEAR.

Iconbarta_medium No more getting escorted from the arena by cops.

Wrath_of_fran_icon_medium I CAN'T HELP IT IF CEDAR FALLS IS FULL OF WANKERS.

Iconbarta_medium And just... tone it down with the yelling and the wild gesticulating and whatnot.

Wrath_of_fran_icon_medium THIS IS SUCH FUCKING BULLSHIT.

Wrath_of_fran_icon_medium NOT ONLY IS IT REPRESSING MY FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION, IT'S GODDAMN UNNATURAL.

Wrath_of_fran_icon_medium WOULD YOU TELL THE HUMMINGBIRD TO FLAP ITS WINGS MORE SLOWLY?

Wrath_of_fran_icon_medium WOULD YOU TELL THE LION TO ROAR MORE QUIETLY?

Wrath_of_fran_icon_medium WOULD YOU TELL THE VELOCIRAPTOR TO DISEMBOWEL ITS PREY MORE GRACEFULLY?

Iconbarta_medium ...

Iconbarta_medium Sometimes I miss Todd.

- fin -

(And, of course, thanks to HFMR for a few of the images in the "Wrath of Fran" .gif up above, too.)