In the football offices of the Richard O. Jacobson Building
Mr. Ferentz, James Vandenberg to see you.
Have you heard of iced coffee? Brian introduced them to me. Coffee at anytime of the day. Isn’t that wild? Now I don’t have to just make that one trip to Starbucks every morning, I can drink it whenever I want. That reminds me, I’m gonna grab another one. Want one? It’s good.
I don’t know. I just feel like I have a little more pep. I mean, I bought a new sports car, I’m trying to grow a mustache, I’m looking for ideas for a Pro Combat uniform. I mean black and yellow with a Tigerhawk is so conservative. You know what I mean.
Hey, did you see the new Dark Knight Rises trailer? That movie is going to be off the hook. I’m thinking of camping out at the mall to get one of the first tickets. I mean Bane and Catwoman? Holy cow.
Anyway, why did you stop by? Are you challenging me to Mario Kart? Please tell me you have not challenged me to Mario Kart, because I’ve been in my office non-stop rocking out to Bill Withers and playing Mario Kart. Rainbow Road is my bitch.
The offense is fine. I have no problems with it. In fact, I think I’ll thrive. It’s Coach Davis himself. Yesterday, he stated that ‘this was going on for too long’ and today he showed up and… well… you kind of have to see it for yourself.
The Iowa quarterback and head coach sit quietly and stare at each other.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahaha! This is great. I don’t know if you’ve heard of El-Oh-El Cats, I think it’s pronounced Lohl or Lawl. I’m not sure. Anyway, they take pictures of cats and then put little captions on the pictures. It is so awesome I mean look at this.
The door bursts open
Darn tootin’ cow boss. I was just goin’ to stake out the chuck wagon and rustle me up some grub. Gotta look yer finest fer all the senoritas and senora. So I put on my finest spurs, chaps, shirt and hat and then I get asked to come see you boss man.
Are you serious? Look at him. At practice this morning, he threw his lasso around Brandon Scherff and hog tied him.
The two high five
Vandenberg and Davis leave