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MARCHIFORNICATION 2012: The Fourth Man

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Kinnick_outside_medium
On the field at Kinnick Stadium, Kirk Ferentz, Ken O'Keefe, and James Vandenberg are talking

Iconferentz_medium Gentlemen, we face our most formidable opponent yet.
Iconferentz_medium Gatens and Brommer are formidable enough by themselves, but McCaffery doubles their effectiveness.
Iconferentz_medium And Barta is...well, he's Bloodpunch. He's ruthless, and he's power-hungry, and he'll use every one of his connections and every bit of his cunning to win.
Iconferentz_medium We need a fourth man, and he has to do something we can't do ourselves.
Iconokeefe_medium What about Canzeri? He's a Danny Woodhead-type player. They don't have one of those.
Iconferentz_medium Get him in here.
Iconokeefe_medium CANZERI!
Iconmoeaki_medium /runs out of tunnel
Icon_airbhg_medium GRRRRR
Iconmoeaki_medium AHHHHHH!
Iconmoeaki_medium /tears ACL

Jordan Canzeri has been eliminated by AIRBHGGING

Breadman_icon_medium STOP THE PROCEEDINGS
Iconferentz_mediumIconokeefe_mediumVandenberg_icon_mediumIcon_airbhg_medium Commissioner Breadman!

Breadman_icon_medium I saw that unprovoked attack, AIRBHG. A preemptive strike on a Marchifornication participant who is not in your bracket is a violation of Marchifornication rule 13.8. By the power vested in me by the Marchifornication governing board, you are hereby DISQUALIFIED.

AIRBHG has been eliminated by technicality

Breadman_icon_medium This leaves Ferentz, McCaffery, O'Keefe, and Vandenberg in the Marchifornication bracket. Given the nature of your current conflict, I further decree that the Marchifornication final will be an eight-man match between bWo and the Ferentz Four.
Breadman_icon_medium Choose your fourth, gentlemen.
Iconokeefe_medium We need to brainstorm.
Iconferentz_medium What about McNutt?
Iconokeefe_medium Getting ready for the draft.
Iconferentz_medium A.J. Derby?
Vandenberg_icon_medium Transferred, and kind of hates you for beating him in the first round. Also, you sort of made him a linebacker.
Iconokeefe_medium Jamie Pollard?
Iconferentz_medium I'm trying to win here, Ken. Come on.
Vandenberg_icon_medium J Leman?
Iconferentz_medium Retired.
Iconokeefe_medium Ron Zook?
Iconferentz_medium Fired.
Speakericon_medium Where you goin', what you lookin' for?
Iconokeefe_medium What was that?
Iconferentz_medium No idea.
Iconokeefe_medium We could promote Soup Campbell.
Iconferentz_medium Non-starter. No experience at this level.
Vandenberg_icon_medium What about Greg Davis?
Iconferentz_medium Yeah, like I really want the fourth member of our team playing from the press box.
Speakericon_medium You know those boys don't want to play anymore for you
Iconokeefe_medium Seriously, what is that?
Vandenberg_icon_medium Coach, I'm pretty sure that is "Sister Christian"
Iconferentz_medium Did you say "Sister Christian"?
Iconferentz_medium Of course.
Vandenberg_icon_medium Yeah, they really need to upgrade the music around here. If I hear "Black Betty" one more time I'm going to --
Iconferentz_medium Quiet, James.
Iconferentz_medium Call the Commissioner. We have our fourth man.