backstage locker room athletic offices of Carver Hawkeye Arena
You know it, Gatens. We've been slaving away for four years on that basketball court and when we finally see some success, what is everybody talking about? Football, ooooh, two new coordinators! Big whoop, I made a backwards full court shot. Where's my parade?
(pausing) Yes... yes. Iowa State... That's true. But unlike those idiots in Ames, our coaches tend to have a pedigree. Ferentz has been the tight ends coach for the Patriots. And as you probably know, they've had some pretty good tight ends. So we felt the need to compensate him fairly for the experience he has the next level.
WHAT?!! Do you know how many tries it took to make those stupid di- I mean how dare you pretend to be me and use my likeness to score free gifts! I am the commissioner of the Big Ten, show me some respect.
Darn right you have. Now, let's get back to the hiring of Brian Ferentz. Are you trying to tell me that Coach Fere... (yelling off phone) Hey put that down! *crash* Alright, that's it, no playing ball in the office. I'm taking this. No, that's not fair! That's not fair! That's not fair! That's not fair! Don't throw a tantrum, you'll make a scene. Don't you have recruiting to do or something? (back on phone) Anyways, where was I? Oh year, you're telling me that Coach...
Yeah, I guess so. Anyway, Jim. I'm kind of having a pow wow with the mens basketball team right now. So I'll talk to you later. I'll tell you again, the Ferentz hire was perfectly legal and standard and you have nothing to worry about. Sometime we'll have to hit the golf course.
Barta hangs up