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Black Heart Gold Pants, The Video

Here's the backstory on this video. I put it together just over 3 years ago, shortly after Vint and Jacobi made the terrible decision to bring me aboard the Good Ship LollyPants. It was to be a glorious dedication to all things BHGP, but I never really found a good time to post it. Then a year later, I got ambitious and made a few updates...but then got busy with pizza and shower jerking, so the video remained unwatched by human eyes. Well, now your human eyes can finally gaze upon its beauty. It hasn't been updated in 2+ years, so the avatars are outdated and I'm not even sure all the blogs from the opening sequence even exist anymore. Plus, most of the the former BHGP Superfriends (Brewster, Zook, Paterno, Leman) aren't around anymore so I figured they needed one last farewell. Goodnight, sweet princes.

It's a little NSFW-ish thanks to a brief appearance from Miss Tigerhawk Nipples (2:35, ya pervs) and a little bit of poop here and there. Then again, I'm not even sure if poop is NSFW. Depends on your job, I suppose. Probably fine if you're a janitor. Also depends on how much poop, I bet. You'd probably get fired for watching 2 girls 1 cup even if you're a janitor. Having said that, there's hardly any poop at all in this video. There's a picture of Adam Weber holding a giant turd instead of a football and one of Brett Morse squatting over a dump on media day. Damn it, I've already said too much. Just forget I mentioned poop and think about something else. Anything else. Think about Bret Bielema's underwear after their 37-31 loss to Michigan State on the last play of the game. No, wait......damn it.

Annnnnd with that, I give you Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride's tribute to Black Heart Gold Pants past......

May the years to come be just as batshitastic.