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MARCHIFORNICATION 2012, ROUND 1: AIRBHG vs. COACH VENDING MACHINE

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NUMBER TWO SEED: ANGRY IOWA RUNNING BACK HATING GOD

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What He did to get here: Took out Rodney Coe (academically ineligible), Mika'il McCall, Marcus Coker, and Mika'il McCall again. And then Marcus Coker again, although it was kind of just an extension of the first strike. It's really quite ridiculous.

NUMBER SEVEN SEED: COACH VENDING MACHINE

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What it did to get here: Accidentally got hired as quarterbacks coach, then got fired for espousing its love of Dana Holgorsen's offense.

Let's go to the ring for the announcements.

Bruce_buffer_icon_medium THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL, WITH THE WINNER ADVANCING TO THE MARCHIFORNICATION QUARTERFINALS!

Bruce_buffer_icon_medium FIGHTING OUT OF THE RED CORNER, WEIGHING IN AS BOTH HEAVIER THAN ALL MASS AND LIGHTER THAN AIR, WITH A PROFESSIONAL RECORD OF FOURTEEN WINS, ZERO DEFEATS, ALL FOURTEEN BY KNOCKOUT!
Bruce_buffer_icon_medium THE MAGNIFICENCE OF OMNIPOTENCE, THE KOKOU OF COKER, THE MANAGALA OF MIKA'IL MCCALLA, HE SEES ALL, HE KNOWS ALL, HE DESTROYS ALL!
Bruce_buffer_icon_medium HE...IS...AAAAAAIIIIIRRRRBBBBBBHHHHHGGGG!!!!!!
Bruce_buffer_icon_medium AND FIGHTING OUT OF THE BLUE CORNER, WEIGHING IN AT ABOUT 325 POUNDS, HAILING FROM...hey, where is the opponent?
Hebner_icon_medium /shrugs
Hebner_icon_medium /counts to ten
Hebner_icon_medium /pronounces AIRBHG the winner

ANGRY IOWA RUNNING BACK HATING GOD WINS BY FORFEIT

Meanwhile, in the basement of the Hayden Fry Football Complex...

Coachmachine_icon_medium Coachmachine_2_medium

Coachmachine_icon_medium Coachmachine_3_medium

Coachmachine_icon_medium Coachmachine_4_medium

Coachmachine_icon_medium Vending_display_0000_000_medium

Coachmachine_icon_medium bleepy bloopy

Coachmachine_icon_medium whirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Coachmachine_icon_medium bleepbloopwhirrrrrrrrr

Coachmachine_icon_medium PING

Coachmachine_icon_medium Vending_display_1000_000_medium

Coachmachine_icon_medium whirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrbleepwhirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr