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MARCHIFORNICATION 2012, ROUND 1: GARY BARTA vs. SCARE CENTER

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NUMBER TWO SEED: GARY "BLOODPUNCH" BARTA

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What he did to get here: Wrote a nasty letter to UI Public Safety; found a time capsule; let Anthony Hubbard through the gates, then announced his departure; made a parody song album with the football staff; apologized for Brommelhead's supernatural effects; canceled basketball in favor of Calvinball; rang the bell at NASDAQ; kinda threw Fran McCaffery under the

Gary_dolphin_icon_medium Wait just a second.
Iconbhgp_medium What is it, Gary? I'm trying to get all the Barta stuff out.
Gary_dolphin_icon_medium Look there, at the top of the ramp.

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Icongatens_medium Hey yo Ken doll

Iconbarta_medium Hey, everyone! It's Iowa basketball superstar Matt Gatens!
Iconbarta_medium Iconbarta90_medium
Icongatens_medium Ken doll, you've got such a big mouth, and we are sick of it.
Iconbarta_medium We? We? Who's "we"?
Icongatens_medium I'll tell you what, you go get three of your very, very best.
Icongatens_medium Maybe it's Billionaire Kirk.
Icongatens_medium Maybe it's Mandenberg. Ooh, I'm so scared.
Icongatens_medium It doesn't matter, because we --
Iconbarta_medium Who's "we", Matt?
Icongatens_medium -- WE ARE TAKING OVER.
Icongatens_medium Only let's do it right. Let's do it here. Let's do it in Marchifornication, where it counts.
Icongatens_medium If Billionaire Kirk and his big boys have any guts, they'll be here. And you'll be with them.
Icongatens_medium You want to go to war? You want a war? You got one.
Icongatens_medium /drops mic, walks away
Iconbarta_medium Iconbarta902_medium
Gary_dolphin_icon_medium I...I don't know what he's talking about.
Iconbhgp_medium Let's just get back to the match.

NUMBER SEVEN SEED: SCARE-CENTER

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What it did to get here: Was a scarecrow and played center. That's pretty much it.

So, who wins Marchifornication?