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The Iowa Coaches Devise a Plan to Fix James Vandenberg's Problems

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Finally, a solution to James Vandeberg's issues in the passing game.

rrrrawwwwrrrrr
rrrrawwwwrrrrr
Horace E Cow

Iconferentz_medium This is a terrible idea.

Gerg_icon_medium /shrugs

Iconferentz_medium But I give up. I can't think of anything else to do. We know he's deadly accurate when it comes to hitting bears.

Gerg_icon_medium Yep.

Iconferentz_medium James? Can you come in here.

Vandenberg_icon_medium Sure thing, Coach!

Iconferentz_medium We've decided to tweak practice a little. I think it's really going to help us get the offense back on track and make things easier for you.

Vandenberg_icon_medium Great!

Iowa_bear_receivers_medium

Iconferentz_medium ... as you can see, we're going to have all of our receivers and tight ends wear bear costumes during practice.

Vandenberg_icon_medium Gosh!

Iconferentz_medium And possibly during games, too. If we can get the NCAA to allow it.

Vandenberg_icon_medium Are they gonna pass a special rule just for me?

Iconferentz_medium From your lips to Mark Emmert's ears...

Keenanbear_medium

Vandenberg_icon_medium Lookin' good, Keenan!

Iconferentz_medium He can't hear you.

Vandenberg_icon_medium Oh.

Iconferentz_medium Because of the bear head.

Vandenberg_icon_medium Right!

Fiedorowiczbear_medium

Vandenberg_icon_medium Who's that?

Iconferentz_medium Um, C.J. Fiedorowicz. Our starting tight end.

Vandenberg_icon_medium Oh, really?

Iconferentz_medium Yes.

Vandenberg_icon_medium Has he been playing a lot?

Iconferentz_medium Um, yes. Almost every snap.

Vandenberg_icon_medium Well, hot diggity dog! I must've thought he was an ineligible receiver because he spends so much time on the line of scrimmage.

Iconferentz_medium /facepalm

Kevontebear2_medium

Kevonte_icon_medium This outfit is really hot, Coach.

Iconferentz_medium I know, Kevonte.

Kevonte_icon_medium Also, it makes it really hard to run.

Gerg_icon_medium I told you these ol' receivers you got here were slow.

Iconferentz_medium /sigh

Kevonte_icon_medium Also, bears don't have thumbs, Coach. Makes it hard to catch a football.

Iconferentz_medium I know, Kevonte.

Jordancottonbear_medium

Beargrowl_icon_medium RRARRR

Vandenberg_icon_medium It's comin' right for us!

Iconferentz_medium Wait, don't --

Gun_medium BANG

Iconferentz_medium ...shoot.

Vandenberg_icon_medium Got 'im! Right between the numbers.

Iconferentz_medium ...dammit.

Iconferentz_medium Tell Lester and Darrell we're gonna need a new kick returner now.

Vandenberg_icon_medium Huh?

Iconferentz_medium Nevermind.

Tevaun_smith_moose_medium

Vandenberg_icon_medium Wait, why is Tevaun dressed up like a moose?

Iconferentz_medium He's Canadian.

Iconferentz_medium Gerg_icon_medium /shrugs

Vandenberg_icon_medium Oh.

Panda_don_shumpert_medium

Iconferentz_medium Wait, you can't shoot that, James!

Iconferentz_medium Pandas are endangered!

Vandenberg_icon_medium Darn it!

Vandenberg_bow_hunter_medium

Vandenberg_icon_medium Alright, Coach, I'm ready to go!

Iconferentz_medium ...

Vandenberg_icon_medium I'm ready to kill some bears!

Iconferentz_medium ... play football.

Vandenberg_icon_medium What?

Iconferentz_medium You're ready to play football.

Vandenberg_icon_medium Uh, right!

Iconferentz_medium The bear costumes are just a tool to help you focus and relax.

Vandenberg_icon_medium Right.

Vandenberg_icon_medium /draws bow

Iconferentz_medium James?

Vandenberg_icon_medium Yes, coach?

Iconferentz_medium Put the bow down. The officials aren't going to let you carry a bow onto a football field.

Vandenberg_icon_medium /sighs

Vandenberg_icon_medium I guess you're right, Coach. It sure would improve my accuracy, though!

Iconferentz_medium This was a terrible idea.

Gerg_icon_medium Yep.

A big THANK YOU to Horace E. Cow for his invaluable assistance with several of these images.