The Inconsolable Eric Johnson goes on a recruiting visit


In the suburbs of Chicago

Iconpollard_jpg_medium Alright this looks to be the place. Nice house. Okay, Jamie you know what to do. You've been the laughingstock of Barta and the University of Iowa for too long. It's time to go on the offensive for the Cyclones.

Slips on mask

Johnsoneric_medium Time to get into character: Base 4-3 defense, cover two... Lineman U... Beautiful Co-Eds... America... Let's do this.

Walks to front door and knocks

41d4bf39ca227fbc74e985e_medium Yes?

Johnsoneric_medium Hi, are you Ryan?

41d4bf39ca227fbc74e985e_medium Yeah

Johnsoneric_medium My name is Eric Johnson and I'm with Iowa St... I mean the University of Iowa, we've talked on the phone before.

41d4bf39ca227fbc74e985e_medium I talked with somebody at Iowa, but I forgot got a name.

Johnsoneric_medium Oh it was me don't worry. Can I come in?

41d4bf39ca227fbc74e985e_medium Sure

In the living room

 Johnsoneric_medium Let me cut to the chase, we've heard that you're torn between going to Iowa and going to Northwestern. Is that right?

41d4bf39ca227fbc74e985e_medium Yeah, I've heard good things about both schools. Plus my older brother went to Northwestern.

Johnsoneric_medium Well, what if I told you about another school. It's flat, it's white and it has a distinct smell. I'm talking about Iowa State.

41d4bf39ca227fbc74e985e_medium Iowa State? Where is that at?

Johnsoneric_medium It's in Ames. Did you know that Iowa State was recently named the 138th best party school?

41d4bf39ca227fbc74e985e_medium In the nation?

Johnsoneric_medium No, the Midwest, but that's not important.

41d4bf39ca227fbc74e985e_medium Is Gene Chizik still there?

 Johnsoneric_medium Sadpollard_medium

Johnsoneric_medium That's kind of a sore subject, but we've got a new head coach, a home-grown boy - Paul Rhoads and he sent me a message to give to you

Holds up phone

Paulrhoads1028jpgf8e7ed_medium I am so proud... no, no, no, listen, listen, I am so proud that you are considering Iowa State

41d4bf39ca227fbc74e985e_medium Wait, wait, wait, you're from the University of Iowa, but you want me to go to Iowa State. That makes no sense.

Johnsoneric_medium I care for your future so much, that I am willing to steer you away from where I work to an even better place. I care about you so much.

41d4bf39ca227fbc74e985e_medium What's my major?

Johnsoneric_medium Horticulture?

41d4bf39ca227fbc74e985e_medium It's art, I want to be a photographer.

Johnsoneric_medium Perfect, there are a lot of things in Ames to take photos of. Take a look at this shot from one of our football media days.


Johnsoneric_medium Plus, I'm here to offer you a full-ride scholarship.

41d4bf39ca227fbc74e985e_medium No way. You've got to be kidding. That's fantastic, I'm in.

Johnsoneric_medium Yes!!! Paul Rhoads will be so happy. Here is a business card for Iowa State athletic director Jamie Pollard. Handsome fellow. He'll get you all sorted out. It was nice talking to you.

41d4bf39ca227fbc74e985e_medium Yeah, you too. It'll be good to be a Cyclone.

Johnsoneric_medium Johnson leaves and pumps a fist

41d4bf39ca227fbc74e985e_medium I've got to tell Ryan about this.

41d4bf39ca227fbc74e985e_medium Hey Ward, this is Ryan. Guess who's a Cyclone?

Ryanward150531_medium A what? I thought you were going to Iowa or Northwestern.

41d4bf39ca227fbc74e985e_medium Have you heard of Eric Johnson from Iowa, I just had a talk with him and he's a great guy. You should listen to him, the man is a hero.

Ryanward150531_medium I have talked with Eric, I'll give him a call now. Congrats Ryan. Make sure to bring in my homework tomorrow.

41d4bf39ca227fbc74e985e_medium Sure. Talk to you later.

A day later

 Iconpollard_jpg_medium Takes sip of boxed wine  Victory is so sweet, Hoiberg you want a glass?

Hoiberg_medium No way, I have my cup of Hawaiian Punch

Iconphone45_medium Sir, your newspaper has arrived.

Iconpollard_jpg_medium Yes!

Opens to sports page




Iconpollard_jpg_medium Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Iconphone45_medium Sir, you have a call from Ryan Fullhart, something about a promised scholarship

Iconpollard_jpg_medium Janice, cancel all my calls and appointments

Hoiberg_medium But you told me you were going to teach me how to shave today!!!

Iconpollard_jpg_medium Sadpollard_medium

Cell phone rings

Iconpollard_jpg_medium  Jamiepollard_medium

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