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Big Ten Media Days: The Bobster Meets Kevin Wilson

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Kevin_wilson_medium ... and I'm just so excited to get the season started here at Indiana University.  It's a great day to be a Hoosier!

Iconpresser_medium /crickets

Kevin_wilson_medium Er, right.  Any questions?

Iconpresser_medium /crickets

Kevin_wilson_medium Seriously, no questions?  We've been a member of the Big Ten since 1899!  That's a lot longer than those Johnny-Come-Latelys like Nebraska and Penn State.  Hell, we've even been here longer than Ohio State!

Iconpresser_medium /crickets

Kevin_wilson_medium /long sigh

Iconpresser_medium Hey, Coach, I've got a question.  How exciting is it to play your home games in the same stadium that's hosting the Big Ten Championship Game?

Kevin_wilson_medium ...

Kevin_wilson_medium Uh, that game's in Indianapolis.  We play in Bloomington.

Iconpresser_medium ... oh.  Do you think you're going to lose your sausages and throw your gum at someone this year?

Kevin_wilson_medium Um, I think that was the last guy.

Iconpresser_medium ... oh.  Coach, how did it feel to beat a #1-ranked Florida team in 1997?

Kevin_wilson_medium Um, that was a different guy, too.  In fact, he's sitting right next to you.

Iconpresser_medium /turns and looks

Dinardo_icon_2_medium Dinardo_big_medium

Iconpresser_medium  ...oh.  Okay, Coach, here's a question for you: was Big Ben as rapey in college?

Kevin_wilson_medium FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU--

Iconpresser_medium How many u's is that?  I want to get it right when I quote you.  Accuracy in reporting, that's what I always say!

Kevin_wilson_medium Dammit, that was another guy, too.  And he's dead.

Oldtesthep_medium FROM THE AFTERLIFE I SMITE THEE

Iconpresser_medium /dies

Kevin_wilson_medium Does anyone have any real football questions for me?  My name is Kevin Wilson and this is an exciting, brand new era for Indiana Hoosiers football!

Iconpresser_flipped_medium /crickets

Kevin_wilson_medium Dammit, I just got a verbal commitment from Gunner Kiel, the top quarterback recruit in the entire friggin' country!

Bobzookicon_medium /winces

Bobzookicon_medium Ooh, even the Bobster knows you can't do that.

Kevin_wilson_medium What?

Bobzookicon_medium Say a recruit's name before he actually signs with you, broseph.

Kevin_wilson_medium Aw, hamburgers.

Sanctions-bot_medium WHEEE-OOOOO!  WHEEE-OOOOO!  WHEEE-OOOOO!

Bobzookicon_medium Hey there, NCAA Sanctions-Bot 5000!

Sanctions-bot_medium GREETINGS, BOBERT ZOOK.

Sanctions-bot_medium NCAA RULES VIOLATION DETECTED.

Sanctions-bot_medium SEARCHING FOR OFFENDING PROGRAM...

Sanctions-bot_medium SEARCHING...

Sanctions-bot_medium SEARCHING...

Sanctions-bot_medium LOCATED.  PLEASE FILL OUT FORM 1A, 4B, AND 3C IN TRIPLICATE AND REPORT TO NCAA OFFICES THREE MONTHS FROM NOW, OHIO STATE COACH [insert name here].

Fickell_icon_medium Hey, wasn't us this time, bro.

Sanctions-bot_medium OH. 

Fickell_icon_medium It was Indiana, actually.

Sanctions-bot_medium SEARCHING...

Sanctions-bot_medium SEARCHING...

Sanctions-bot_medium SEARCHING...

Sanctions-bot_medium ERROR.  NO "INDIANA UNIVERSITY FOOTBALL" DETECTED.

Kevin_wilson_medium Fuck you guys.