OKAY
...sir?
YES
Is that your opening statement? Just... "okay"?
I NEVER HAD MUCH USE FOR THE FILIBUSTER, JUNIOR
I see.
THAT REMINDS ME OF THE STORY I TOLD TODD BLACKLEDGE ROUGHLY 30 YEARS AGO. TIMES WERE DIFFERENT THEN, AND PEOPLE DIDN'T LOOK AT FOOTBALL PLAYERS THE SAME WAY THEY DO NOW. IT'S THE INTERNET, I TELL YOU. THE PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET, THEY JUST LOOK AT DETAILS AND NOT THE REAL MEASURE OF THE MAN, HIS BENCH PRESSES AND THE COMMITMENT TO THE TEAM AND HIS PERFORMANCE IN THE SCALP-THE-SAVAGE DRILL.
sir
ANYHOW TODD CAME TO ME ONE DAY AND ASKED ME IF HE COULD HAVE A DAY OFF ON ACCOUNT OF HIS SISTER WAS SET TO BIRTH HER FIRST CALF
sir
THAT IS A JOKE
I MEAN IT WAS TO BE A HUMAN BABY, AND IT WAS, IT WAS A REAL BABY BOY
sir, nobod
SO TODD ASKS ME FOR THREE DAYS, ONE FOR CELEBRATION WITH HIS FAMILY, AND ONE DAY FOR TRANSPORTATION EACH WAY. IT WAS THE MIDDLE OF JULY AND HE WAS MY CLEAR STARTER, SO I SAW NO REASON TO DENY HIM THE TRIP, AND SO I GRANTED IT TO HIM
...and?
THAT'S ALL
Sir, Bob Zook with BHGP with a question!
WHO
Bob Zook!
WITH WHOM
BHGP!
NOW YOU LISTEN HERE GOOD AND CLEAR, SON. I WAS RAISED THAT MEDIA OUTLETS WEST OF THE MISSISSIPPI BEGIN WITH K, AND EAST -- WHERE ALL THE RESPONSIBLE MEN LIVE -- WE START WITH A W
AND I'VE NEVER HEARD OF A B-STATION
IS THIS A COMMUNIST'S PLOT
uh
NAME YOUR SUPERIOR, COMRADE
Heh, closest thing I got to a superior is my hombres .38 Special!
SWEET MOTHER OF JESUS' RECTUM, THIS RAVING DRIFTER IS THREATENING TO BRANDISH A FIREARM AT ME
N-n-no, .38 Special is a rock band!
HE IS NOW RAVING ABOUT ROCK COCAINE
SECURITARYYYY
sighhh
I'm on it, JoePo!
/handcuffs the shit out of Bob Zook
/fondles own cleavage
dang it all to hell
but awesome
NO MORE QUESTIONS FROM SOVIET OPERATIVES PLEASE