Usually, on the summer speaking circuits that the Iowa coaches go on (I-Club, etc.), one of the names that's usually absent from the proceedings is that of offensive coordinator Ken O'Keefe. We don't think it's because he's been hiding or anything like that--there are many worse coaches that KOK out there who have absolutely no compunction about going out and gladhanding--it just doesn't seem to be part of his personality. And if there's one thing consistent about Kirk Ferentz and his staff, it's that they're full owners of their personality traits, and if you don't like it, well, the hell with you. That's probably wise, honestly; can you imagine how much Ferentz and Norm Parker would hate forcing themselves to act like Pete Carroll or Jon Gruden? It would be agony. Funny agony, of course, because aberrant behavior is always welcome here, but probably career-ending agony for both men at the same time too.
But we're getting off track. Ken O'Keefe does have the ability to speak, though, and he was surprisingly affable and yet coachlike at last month's press conference featuring himself and Norm Parker. In other words, despite what you read on this blog, the real Ken O'Keefe is not a megalomaniacal manchild who knows three plays and stalks quarterbacks in their dreams. He's more like the J.D. Salinger of ball control offenses. And he's still alive.
Those interested in listening to the actual Ken O'Keefe further will be happy to note, then, that he will be speaking at a luncheon for the University of Iowa Children's Hospital at the Sheraton Iowa City on June 9, from 11:45 to 1:00. That's one week from now precisely, for those of you who do not know basic arithmetic or calendarin'. Neither Patrick nor I will be able to attend on account of schedules, but you can! And you should! Tickets are $20 a pop, all proceeds go to the UICH, and it's a nice way to spend a lunch hour on some random June day.
If you're around and interested in going, here's what to do. Contact Michelle Altmaier via e-mail at (her first name)-(her last name)@uiowa.edu and reserve and purchase your tickets through her. Do it soon, because not only is the banquet in a damn week, there are definitely more people who'll see this article than there are tickets available.
Couple things worth reiterating real quick:
1) Like always, BHGP is not involved with the collection of money in any way, nor does one cent of the money raised go to us or anything else other than the Children's Hospital itself. No overhead, no administrative fees--it's ALL for the UICH. We are emotionally invested in the success of the UI Children's Hospital, but that's all.
2) We've never been disappointed by our readers' behavior, but it's worth reiterating that having O'Keefe speak publicly is a rare treat for all Hawkeye fans, and the last thing we would ever want is some BHGP readers ruining the luncheon for anyone else by being disrespectful. Again, not something that's ever happened before to the best of our knowledge, but we just feel better actually saying it. You know what we mean.
Anyway, seriously, anyone in Eastern Iowa with the means to go to this thing really ought to; it's not that much money, you get some food, you get to spend an hour with Ken O'Keefe, and you get to help the UI Children's Hospital. I'm sure if you ask Michelle nicely you can even organize some tables full of readers if enough of you sign up. I didn't clear that with her before writing it, but she's a very nice person so I'm sure if she can accommodate us, she will.
So go nuts, guys, have fun, enjoy the speech. Report back if you go. And thank you once again for your continued support of the UI Children's Hospital. We probably don't say thank you for that enough. So really, thank you. Without your unbelievable amount of support, we'd be just another irrelevant dick-joke website, and although there's certainly nothing wrong with those, well, y'know. The world's better this way.