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MARCHIFORNICATION ROUND 2: GARY BARTA VS. DINOSAUR RACECARS

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HOT, SWEATY SEMIFINAL ACTION. GET SOME.

THE #1 SEED: BLOODPUNCH BARTA

Lbloodpunchj_medium

Round 1: Defeated Gila Ben, 469-72

THE #5 SEED: DINOSAUR RACECARS

Dinosaurracecars_medium

Round 1: Defeated Brennan Cougill 563-247

Iconbhgp_medium Well, we've got ourselves quite a contest today. Bloodpunch, Dinosaur Racecars, I assume you all recognize the stakes involved.

Iconbarta_medium I do, your honor

Iconbhgp_medium I am not a judge. Please don't.

Iconbarta_medium and I would like to submit my request to have this vote dismissed on the grounds that under University of Iowa athletic guidelines, it is no longer valid.

Iconbhgp_medium Oh word?

Icontyrannosaurus_medium RARARRRGARGHGHH??

Iconbarta_medium Yes. As you'll see in this recent decree, the University of Iowa will not sanction any athletic competitions between non-human organisms that A) feature any direct, extremity-to-extremity combat or B) involve animals that are more than human-waist-tall, or C) are not recognized by all-powerful sports media organization SBNation.com.

Iconbarta_medium Good luck pushing Tyrannosaurus Wrecks on a legally hostile audience, suckers.

Iconbhgp_medium Funny thing, Mr. Bloodpunch.

Iconbarta_medium A clown farting a fully intact copy of the Bill of Rights?

Iconbhgp_medium No, I--I wasn't requesting--yes, it would be funny, but I--no, I need to tell you something.

Iconbarta_medium Go on.

Iconbhgp_medium There is another dinosaur that races for Dinosaur Racecars,

Iconbarta_medium And?!

Iconbhgp_medium And it races for SBNation.com's newest featured website, VelociRacecars.com.

Iconvelociraptor_medium KREEEEEEEEEE

Iconbarta_medium Yes, I get it! But aren't those beasts huge?

Iconbhgp_medium Erm, not exactly. Here's what they actually look like.

429px-vraptor_scale

Iconbhgp_medium So they're SBN-affiliated and previously recognized by us as a legitimate Dinosaur Racecar Driving organization.

Iconbarta_medium But I've seen Jurassic Park and at least one of the sequels! Velociraptor are like human-sized!

Iconbhgp_medium Bitch, please. No. Not even knee-high.

Iconvelociraptor_medium KREEEEEEEEEEE

Iconbarta_medium Iconbarta902_medium

Iconbarta_medium Clever girl.