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MARCHIFORNICATION ROUND 2: AIRBHG VS. CAPTAIN AMERICA HERKY

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THE #1 SEED: ANGRY IOWA RUNNING BACK HATING GOD

Airbhg2_medium

Round 1: Defeated rhabdo 521-63

THE #5 SEED: CAPTAIN AMERICA HERKY

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First Round: Defeated Matt Gatens Legacy by Montreal Screwjob.

Icon_airbhg_medium RISE AND SHINE
Icon_airbhg_medium WHAT DAY IS IT?
Icon_airbhg_medium OH RIGHT IT'S TAKE OUT SOME IOWA RUNNING BACKS DAY
Icon_airbhg_mediumALSO KNOWN AS TUESDAY
Icon_airbhg_medium OH LOOK A PRESS CONFERENCE

Kf_presser_medium
In Iowa City, Kirk Ferentz takes questions before the open of spring practice.
A bearded man stands in the back next to Captain America Herky.


Iconferentz_medium Yes, Jon, I suppose I agree that I'm really awesome.  Next question.
Millericon_medium  I have a follow-up question, Coach Awesome.
Millericon_medium  Are you the coolest coach in the world?
Iconferentz_medium  I...I don't know, Jon. I don't even use Twitter or anything. Does anyone have a serious que...
Millericon_medium  I have a follow-up question, Coach Fonzie.
Millericon_medium  Do you know anything about non-compete agreements?
Iconferentz_medium  OK, any real questions?
Iconmarcmo_medium  Coach, I have a question...
Ferentzbeard_icon_medium  Now, Paki!
Caherky_icon_medium 
/punches number into cell phone
Iconcell_medium  MORE HOUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR STREET MORE HOUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR
Iconmarcmo_medium  I'm sorry, Coach.  That's mine.  I'll be right back.
Iconmarcmo_medium  Mas Casa. Como esta?
Caherky_icon_medium  Follow the Pakileaks.
Iconmarcmo_medium  Follow the what?
Caherky_icon_medium  Follow the Pakileaks.  Twitter dot com slash Pakibomb.
Caherky_icon_medium  /hangs up

Iconmarcmo_medium  bleep bloop bleep

Pakileaks_medium


Iconmarcmo_medium  Coach Ferentz, would you care to answer a few rumors about some players on your team?
Iconferentz_medium  Well, I suppose it depends where you got the rumors, Marc. If they came from those damnable social networks...
Iconmarcmo_medium  I have it from a source that Marcus Coker's real name isn't Marcus Coker
Iconferentz_medium  He's been dismissed from the team.
Iconmarcmo_medium  Really? What about the rumor that De'Andre Johnson isn't getting good grades.
Iconferentz_medium  Academic indigestion. Gone.
Iconmarcmo_medium  Rodney Coe likes the NBC sitcom 'Perfect Couples'
Iconferentz_medium  Player transaction. Exiled to Elba.
Iconmarcmo_medium  Mikail McCall eats Hot Pockets Sideshots for every meal
Iconferentz_medium  Sent to a Soviet gulag
Iconmarcmo_medium  Jordan Canzeri is inconsiderate.
Iconferentz_medium  Gitmo'd
Iconmarcmo_medium  Damon Bullock wrote a terrible children's movie
Iconferentz_medium  Transferred to play basketball for Fred Hoiberg.
Iconmarcmo_medium  What about the rumor that Jason White is a walk-on safety?
Iconferentz_medium  You would think we would know that, but no. Violation of team rules. Turkish prison.
Ferentzbeard_icon_medium  We did, it Paki.
Caherky_icon_medium  Wait, what did we do?
Ferentzbeard_icon_medium  Just watch.  Watch and learn.
Icon_airbhg_medium  TIME TO MESS UP SOME RUNNING BA...HEY WAIT A MINUTE
Iconmarcmo_medium  Coach, by my count, you're
Icon_airbhg_medium  THEY'RE
Iconmarcmo_medium  out of
Icon_airbhg_medium  OUT OF
Iconmarcmo_medium  halfbacks.
Icon_airbhg_medium  HALFBACKS
Icon_airbhg_medium  BUT WHAT OF MY POWERS
Icon_airbhg_medium  WHO WILL I DESTROY
Icon_airbhg_medium  I'M IMPOTENT
Icon_airbhg_medium  I'M POWERLESS
Icon_airbhg_medium  I'M MELTING
Icon_airbhg_medium  OH GOD I'M MELTING

Captain America Herky wins by melting his opponent.