Tuesday afternoon, Jacobsen Building, Iowa State University
As I'm sure you know, I'm famous for my outlandish home run calls. And I thought it would be fun if we came up with some "touchdown calls" that I could use for my broadcast. I've looked over your team's roster, and I'd like some help in creating these horrible, horrible puns.
He is...GONE! A touchdown pass from Steele Jantz! You may have Jantz in your pants, but you have STEEL in your SPINE! And Iowa State cuts the Rutgers lead to 14!
No. He was replaced by Jared Barnett a couple of months ago.
Maybe. It's either him or Jeff Woody.
White takes the handoff off-tackle, breaks through, and he...is...GONE! James White scampers 14 yards for a touchdown! Beware blizzard conditions, because this is a WHITE OUT! And Iowa State reduces the Rutgers lead to four possessions!
OK...Darius Darks, wide receiver.
Josh Lenz, wideout.
Grant Mahoney, placekicker.
Kelechi Osemele, tackle.
Carter Bykowski, tackle.
Matt Tau'fo'ou, middle linebacker.
Benton jars the ball loose, snaps it up, and he...is...GONE! A touchdown for Ter'Ran Benton! And TER RAN! TER RAN SO FAR TER WAY! The fundamentalist regime in Ter'Ran is oppressive to SCARLET KNIGHTS!
Jamie, I did have a question about this one player. Wes Sleeper. He's a defensive back.
Sleeper streaks down the field on kickoff coverage. He makes the hit and jars the ball loose, and he...is...GONE! A touchdown for the Cyclones! He may be from Solon, but it's the Rutgers Scarlet Nights who are...
Meanwhile, at a hotel in Tempe