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A Ferentz family Thanksgiving

Grandma_ferentz_medium Dinner!

Iconferentz_medium (clapping hands) Alright guys, let's bring it in. Let's bring it in. Now today's an important day, we need to bring our A-games. We need to be smart, we need to be mistake free and we need to execute.

 James_icon_medium Dad, it's just Thanksgiving dinner. We don't need the pep talk.

The Ferentz family sits around the family table

Grandma_ferentz_medium Kirk, do you want to say the prayer?

Iconferentz_medium Yeah, sure... Dear God, we are thankful for all that you have given us - the stretch zone, the 4-3 defense, Wrigley's Spear-o-Mint gum, Marcus Coker, punting...

Brian_icon_medium Dad, can we concentrate more on the family?

Iconferentz_medium Okay. Thank you for blessing us with good health, James has been free of injuries all year and he has played well, in fact his...

James_icon_medium Wow, thanks Dad. That means...

Iconferentz_medium ...comeback victory against Pittsburgh was one of the highlights of the season. God, do you remember him throwing that last touchdown to Kevonte? Boy what a strike.

James_icon_medium ... a lot.

Iconferentz_medium Marcus has also been healthy throughout the year and so has Marvin. Lord, you have blessed us so much, but you have also tested us this year. Mika'il and the whole Factbook thing, what was that? Granting Steele Jantz superpowers for one game? Continuing to confound me with special teams? But you know what, I'm just going to chalk that up to a failure in execution and I know you'll be better next week.

Grandma_ferentz_medium Kirk!

Iconferentz_medium Amen. Let's eat.

Grandma_ferentz_medium Now, what to have first?

Iconferentz_medium We want the ball first.

James_icon_medium Dad. Thanksgiving. Not football.

Iconferentz_medium Sorry, let's have some of that delicious turkey.

Ten minutes pass

Iconferentz_medium (clapping hands): Now that was a great turkey, good job Mom. Keep it up. Offers hand.

Grandma_ferentz_medium (shaking hand) Ummm thanks honey.


Brian_icon_medium James! Quit hogging all the rolls, other people at the table might want some.

James_icon_medium I'm just trying to find the biggest one, you'll get them, don't worry.

Iconferentz_medium Hey, what going on down there?

Brian_icon_medium James has been holding the rolls for like 10 minutes


Iconferentz_medium Holding?! That's a terrible call. You keep quiet all dinner and then you call that holding? Come here.

Brian_icon_medium What is it?

Iconferentz_medium I need an explanation. Tell me what you saw.

Brian_icon_medium Ummmm James has been holding onto the basket of rolls for about five minutes, digging through and looking for the biggest one. Hell, he's still holding it now.

Iconferentz_medium Okay, okay. Good call. Good call.

Still later

James_icon_medium Oops, spilled some gravy on my shirt.

Iconferentz_medium *snort* Writes in notebook

 The meal is finished and a stuffed family sits at the table

 James_icon_medium Grandma, Mom that was delicious.

Brian_icon_medium Yeah, thanks. Nothing beats a home cooked meal.

Grandma_ferentz_medium Alright, who is ready for pie?

Brian_icon_medium James_icon_medium Sure!

Grandma_ferentz_medium Kirk?

Iconferentz_medium Well, we had a good dinner today. There were a few mistakes along the way, but overall it was a good meal for this team and one we truly needed. I'm not about to rub this win in Thanksgiving's face, we may not be the sexiest outfit around, but we got the job done today and that's what matters. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to answer the media's questions in the living room.

Kirk leaves

Grandma_ferentz_medium I guess that's a no.

Overheard in the living room

 Iconferentz_medium Kirk, you are looking extra handsome today. Tell me about that win out there today and be succinct as possible.

Iconferentz_medium It was a good win. We ate well in all three phases today - turkey, stuffing and potatoes - and now we put that behind us and get ready for Christmas.

Brian_icon_medium (quietly) Is somebody going to confront him about the headset? He's been wearing it all day and now its covered in food and starting to smell.

James_icon_medium We've got to stop playing on Fridays.