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A Random HOKEAMANIA Interlude

(Ed. Note: Yes, this is really stupid.  No, it has nothing to do with Iowa-Nebraska.  Here's some context if you're completely baffled.  Sometimes you just have an itch that needs scratching.  Regular service will resume shortly. -- RB)


 Reportericon_medium Wait, what is this --

Brady_hoke_icon_medium Everywhere I go, man, all the little Hokesters ask me, "Is there any truth to the fact that there was a controversy-filled offseason?"

Reportericon_medium Well, yes, obviously --

Brady_hoke_icon_medium "Hokester, did you really reclaim the ethical high ground?  Did you really beat Brutus in the court of public opinion?"

Reportericon_medium But --

Brady_hoke_icon_medium Well this Saturday, man, in The Game, we’re gonna wipe all that controversy out.  Brutus, this Saturday, when you’re fresh as a daisy, with the whole world watching, I’m gonna prove, brother, that I can beatcha anywhere, anytime! And all my Hokeamaniacs, they’re gonna feel it tooooo….

Reportericon_medium Hokeawhat?

Brady_hoke_icon_medium YEAH!  But if you looked in their eyes, man, have you seen the fear in all those little Hokesters? They realize that when I get Brutus buried in the fourth quarter, when I SLAM him through the Big House, brother!---

Reportericon_medium Big what?  This is the Hyatt Regency.

Brady_hoke_icon_medium -- from Ann Arbor, down to Tampa, Florida, the fault line is gonna break off!  And as Brutus falls into the ocean!---

Reportericon_medium You're going to beat Ohio State into the Atlantic Ocean?  I don't underst --

Brady_hoke_icon_medium -- so will DAVE BRANDON and ALL THE HOKEAMANIACS! But as Dave Brandon hangs on to the top of the Big House, with his family under his other arm, and as they SINK, to the BOTTOM OF THE SEA---

Reportericon_medium Well, now this is just getting weird.

Brady_hoke_icon_medium THANK GOD Dave Brandon's a Hokeamaniac! He’ll know enough to let go of his materialistic possessions, hang on to the wife and kids, DOG PADDLE with his life all the way to safety!

Reportericon_medium ...

Brady_hoke_icon_medium But Dave, if somethin’ happens, you run outta gas, and all those little Hokeamaniacs run outta gas, just hang on to the LARGEST BACK in the world, and I’ll dog paddle us, backstroke all of us to safety!

Reportericon_medium ...


Reportericon_medium I quit.