We can't dwell on this catastrophe.
Drill Sergeant, who do we have in reserves?
ONE IS READY TO GO. HE IS A PROVEN LEADER AND CAN STEP IN FOR STANZI TODAY
THE OTHER IS A BIT OF A REBEL. WE'RE GOING TO NEED SOME TIME WITH HIM.
WE DON'T HAVE ANY TIME, SERGEANT! GET THEM IN HERE ASAP!
/throws fly route for touchdown
/throws frozen rope 15-yard out
But wait, don't you want your massage?
No time. Gotta get to Freedom Squad headquarters.
Meanwhile, at a bar in rural Iowa City
That's it, Derby! Get out of here before I call the cops!
You can't throw me out, because I'm going to be quarterback!
Just you watch! I'm gonna do it!
The next morning, at the Johnson County Jail
Derby, I'm Sergeant Hulka, and I work for Freedom Squad.
We travel the world and defend freedom and liberty from communists and hippies and rodents.
We'd talk to the judge and get you out of jail, and then you'd come work with us.
We need you to help stop Minnesota and bring back Floyd of Rosedale. You'd be working with James Vandenberg to
Well, we'd move you to linebacker.
Why would I do that? I'm a quarterback, old man, and Vandenberg is my competition.
WE'RE ALL ON THE SAME TEAM HERE, AJ!
Team Derby looks like a loser to me.
Here's my card. Call me if you change your mind.
Give him some time. He'll come around.
/lays down on cot to take a nap, dozes off
Listen to me, Derby. Drop the A from your first name, move to linebacker, and help Freedom Squad avenge me or I will haunt you for the rest of your days.
Have you ever heard a motorcycle go by your house in the middle of the night? Now imagine that every minute of every day.
Not anymore. Either you become a destroyer of worlds or I will destroy yours!
BWAHAHAHAHA!