Gentlemen, we have a situation.
We've received actionable intelligence indicating Minnesota intends to attack Freedom Squad itself.
Insane.
I don't believe it.
They do this every year, and it never works.
This one might be a little different, though. Intelligence indicates Minnesota may have overthrown its incompetent bozo of a leader, Commandant Brewster.
Eh, they're still Minnesota.
Yeah, we're not worried.
We can handle this, no problem.
Fortunately, we were planning for this months in advance. DJK is available...
'sup.
hashtag mpod
...Josh Koeppel will be handling your defensive perimeter, and we've embedded J Leman with the Minnesota Vikings.
Good luck and happy hunting, gentlemen.
To the Freedom Scooters!
Meanwhile, at TCF Bank Stadium
They've taken the bait.
Excellent.
Prepare the ambush!
/go to Minnesota
/plays for Minnesota Vikings
Attack their perimeter defenses!
VROOM VROOM
Josh Koeppel has been hit by a truck again.
Deploy the shiny objects! Mister Third Down, baby! hashtag MPOD! Praise this dude to the most fly... /sees flyer for Prada sale at Mall of America
Derrell Johnson-Koulianos has gone shopping.
Wait, where did everyone go?
We've lost our perimeter defense and our only outside threat.
We've still got this. Get Leman in here. He'll take care of business.
bleep bloop bleep
/picks up phone
/misses tackle
/waived by Minnesota Vikings
J Leman has been cut.
He's not answering.
Looks like it's just the two of us, old friend.
I don't think that's going to be enough.
/throws ball into sixteenth row
/takes out iPhone, checks draft status on third down
NOW! SWARM! SWARM!
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
...Freedom Squad has been defeated.
To be continued