Scene: The Outback Bowl. Penn State and Florida have battled to a 30-24 score late in the fourth quarter. Penn State has the ball, and quarterback Matt McGloin is trying to drive his team down the field for the winning score.
Um, coach, you gave me a scholarship to come here, and you didn't give one to that guy, and he is blowing yet another game for us. I'm finally healthy now, so I'm ready to start playing as much as I did during the first half of the season when I was starting. Also I am not even 20 years old so I am totally fucking irrational.
BE QUIET FOR ONCE AND OBSERVE MY BEST QUARTERBACK EVE /throws his fifth interception of the game
Matt McGloin throws his fifth interception of the game.
Ahmad Black slowly returns the interception unimpeded.
Ahmad Black scores a touchdown to seal the victory for Florida.
Seriously, coach, if this the guy you're going to put out at quarterback instead of me, I'm just going to go somewhere else while I'm still young.Wait. I can't?
Well, thank you, I think. But I truly hate it here and I have zero motivation to actually help this football team. You took away a starting role from a true freshman and this is what happens. Do you really want to depend on a quarterback who's going to approach the game with all the commitment and intensity of Ken Griffey Jr. during his first four years with the Cincinnati Reds?