You said it, big guy. Between Big Ten Media Days, two-a-day practices, Weghergate, and traveling back in time to stop Ron Zook from butchering the national anthem at Wrigley Field*, that month was nuts. Right, Ace?
NO! Kelechi Osemele? Left tackle? Iowa State? I defeated you last year in Ames?
I guess so. It was tough to get in a rhythm, though, what with my boy Tyler "Motherfucking" Sash picking off every other goddamn pass.
And I am well acquainted with the notion that there were more games after our clash! We won many of those contests, including one over those traitorous curs from Nebraska. We vanquished a team of footballers in a bowl game as well!
Arizona, huh? We thought for sure we were going there for the Fiesta Bowl. Coach O'Keefe even made a suit out of Tostitos. That was a little weird. I'm pretty sure you guys weren't in that game, though...
Really? Damn, that shit is crazy. I mean, I went and told some reporters that we were the only school in Iowa. Talk about egg on my face...
Yo, dude, how about the Sparknotes version -- we got practice in a few and I gotta go beat some more toughness into Riley Reiff.
Fine. I was a prince and my father was a king in Nigeria; I was educated at a British boarding school. My father lost our entire fortune after speculating on Chizik nickels. He demanded an audience with the leaders of the Chizik nickel craze; Mr. Pollard and Mr. Chizik himself consented to speak with him. My father was so angry with them for costing us our fortune that he wanted to string them from the rafters by their lower intestines --
No. Mr. Chizik was very persuasive and convinced my father that if I came to America to play you debased version of "foot-ball" for him at Iowa State, then the value of Chizik nickels would rise exponentially and my father would gain a fortune ten times greater than our old fortune.
Sure, whatever. Dude, he's pissed about what happened last year. He's focused. I mean, really focused.
You wanna know what happened the last time I saw A.C. this focused? The Orange Bowl happened, dude. I think Nesbitt is still picking chunks of that turf out of his teeth.
* - We call this a "lost adventure," true believers.