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Brent Metcalf Gets His Shot At Revenge... ON AN EM-EFFING AIRCRAFT CARRIER

We all know Brent Metcalf's career, storied as it was, was imperfect; who can forget the embarrassment brought to this great wrestler, this great program, and indeed this great nation when Metcalf was defeated in the 2009 NCAA title match at 149 pounds by known scofflaw* Darrion Caldwell.

Rather than defendhis title against the now-possessed Metcalf, Caldwell feigned a shoulder injury** and sat out the 2010 season, while Metcalf exhausted his collegiate eligibility en route to regaining the 149 pound title this spring. A clever ruse by Caldwell, who now no longer has to answer for his crimes against... WAIT A SECOND THAT'S THE STAR SPANGLED BANNER OHMYGOD:

Former Hawkeye wrestler Brent Metcalf will get another shot at Darrion Caldwell, this time aboard a fabled U.S. Navy aircraft carrier.

Metcalf vs. Caldwell is the main event of a seven-match card of matches during the 2010 Beat the Streets Gala on May 13, to be held aboard the USS Intrepid, a decommissioned aircraft carrier moored on the west side of Manhattan in New York City as part of the Intrepid Sea, Air and Space Museum. The match is being billed as the "Battle on the Intrepid."

There is, of course, precedence for gaining one's revenge aboard an aircraft carrier by besting an opponent in feats of strength. Our only regret is that, unlike its predecessor, the "Battle on the Intrepid" couldn't wait until July 4.

We do, however, expect the outcome to be the same, right down to Tom Brands throwing VT wrestling coach Kevin Dresser out of the ring by his head.


*he did a backflip. he must be a bad guy.
**again: backflip. next step is faking injuries.