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Duke Wins; Now All Hell Is Breaking Loose

Stories number 1, 2, 3, and basically 4 through 600 are about that Duke-Butler game last night. And hey, why not? Awesome game, good almost beat Evil. That close.

But Evil prevailed, and when Evil prevails, the world. fucking. ends. So that's why we weren't even surprised to see this in our local Weather Underground page today.


115 degrees below zero! Now, you're probably thinking, "Wait a second. Hell is full of fire and sulfur and capsaicin enemas. Why is the wind chill positively Antarctic? Well, that's simple. Because Krzyzewski--who is Satan--is probably going to have to blow a giant hole in the earth to open up a big enough portal to the depths of hell. That hole just so happens to be in Southern Iowa, as fate would have it. And this quiet town is going to be blasted up into space, where it is very, very cold, and the wind unrelenting.

Alas, alas, alas. It was a good run, world.