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Teddy Greenstein: Political Reporter

Chicago Daily Tribune offices
National News Desk
November 1948

Editoricon_medium  I need a story.  I need a story.  I need NEWS, PEOPLE!
Editoricon_medium Once, I saw the greatest news story in the world.
Editoricon_medium /reads rough draft of story about panda cubs at San Diego Zoo
Editoricon_medium This is not the greatest news story in the world!
Reporter2icon_medium But sir, this is just the Tribune
Editoricon_medium /reads rough draft of story about bank robberies
Editoricon_medium I can't seem to remember the greatest news story in the world.
Reportericon_medium No, no, this is just the Tribune
Editoricon_medium What are you doing here?  It's election night!  You should be out reporting!
Editoricon_medium Why do I even pay you reporters?  You couldn't report on a fire if the flames were shooting out your own ass!  Who has something on this election for me?
Reporter2icon_medium ...
Reportericon_medium ...
Editoricon_medium Come on, people!  I need news!
Reporter2icon_medium ...
Reportericon_medium ...
Editoricon_medium Enough of this.  Someone get me Teddy Greenstein!
Greensteinicon_medium You called, sir?
Editoricon_medium Do you have the story on the election?
Greensteinicon_medium Yeah, sir.  Dewey's gonna win.
Editoricon_medium Really?  Where are you getting that?
Greensteinicon_medium Um...sources?
Editoricon_medium Good enough, Greenstein!  We're putting it on the front page!  Everyone will be talking about it!  Job well done, son!
Greensteinicon_medium Thanks, Mr. Editor.
Editoricon_medium Beatrice, call the printers!  We've got our headline!

The next morning...


Editoricon_medium Maybe you're better suited for the sports desk, Greenstein.