I can't believe that Paterno won't do business with me just because I'm Irish.
I'm not even Irish! I'm Samoan or something!
I can try to take Stanzi down alone again...but no, that won't work. I need JoePa, damn it!
Maybe I can scare the old bastard into helping me. Yeah, that might wo...
/fires warning shot over PAKISTANZI's head
The jig is up, PAKISTANZI!
What was that?
You're pronouncing it incorrectly. It's Pah-kee-stahnzi, with more of an "ah" sound on the A's.
Oh. Thanks, President Obama!
Haters gonna hate.
Wait, where did he go?
-- Five minutes later, in the basement of Beaver Stadium --
I don't see him
I don't either
We might be lost
I can't believe we're lost in Beaver Stadium
Beaver Stadium LOL
Yeah, LO wait, what did you say?
/opens polyester jacket to show pistol
-- Basement of Beaver Stadium LOL, in a holding cell usually inhabited by KevinHD --
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU FELL FOR THAT! YOU WERE SO DISTRACTED BY THE NAME OF THE STADIUM THAT YOU COMPLETELY MISSED A RUSSIAN GUY IN A CHEAP POLYESTER SUIT SNEAK UP BEHIND YOU!
THAT WASN'T EVEN A REAL GUN! HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!
/shows metric ruler painted silver
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GOT LOST IN A FOOTBALL STADIUM! IT'S JUST A BIG BOWL OF CONCRETE, NOT A HOUSE OF MIRRORS!
/points to Clayborn
Don't talk to this guy about Mears AMIRITE!
REALLY, WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO LEARN NOT TO FOLLOW ME INTO BASEMENTS?
NOW I CAN SCARE JOEPA INTO HELPING ME DESTROY STANZI ONCE AND FOR ALL! MY PLAN IS COMPLETE! THE TRAP HAS BEEN SET!
I JUST NEED A NEW DISGUISE.
/puts on mask
NO LONGER AM I PAKI O'MEARA! NO LONGER AM I PAKISTANZI! NOW I AM...