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MARCHIFORNICATION, ROUND 3: RETURN OF PAKISTANZI

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Psu_medium
-- Outside Beaver Stadium, Penn State University --

Pakiicon_medium I can't believe that Paterno won't do business with me just because I'm Irish.
Pakiicon_medium I'm not even Irish!  I'm Samoan or something!
Pakiicon_medium I can try to take Stanzi down alone again...but no, that won't work.  I need JoePa, damn it!
Pakiicon_medium Maybe I can scare the old bastard into helping me.  Yeah, that might wo...
Iconclayborn_medium FREEZE
Iconace_medium ARF ARF
Iconace_medium /fires warning shot over PAKISTANZI's head
Iconclayborn_medium The jig is up, PAKISTANZI!
Obamaicon_medium That's Pah-kee-stahnzi.
Iconclayborn_medium What was that?
Obamaicon_medium You're pronouncing it incorrectly.  It's Pah-kee-stahnzi, with more of an "ah" sound on the A's.
Iconclayborn_medium Oh.  Thanks, President Obama!
Obamaicon_medium Haters gonna hate.
Iconclayborn_medium Wait, where did he go?

Obamaicon_medium There he is, running into Beaver Stadium
Iconclayborn_medium Beaver Stadium LOL
Obamaicon_medium LOL
Iconclayborn_medium LOL
Iconclayborn_medium Let's get him!

-- Five minutes later, in the basement of Beaver Stadium --

Iconclayborn_medium I don't see him
Obamaicon_medium I don't either
Iconclayborn_medium We might be lost
Obamaicon_medium I can't believe we're lost in Beaver Stadium
Iconclayborn_medium Beaver Stadium LOL
Obamaicon_medium LOL
Iconclayborn_medium LOL
Iconace_medium RARFL
Icontrolololo_medium TROLOLOLOLO
Iconclayborn_medium Yeah, LO wait, what did you say?
Icontrolololo_medium TROLOLOLOLO
Icontrolololo_medium /opens polyester jacket to show pistol
Icontrolololo_medium Let's golololololo

-- Basement of Beaver Stadium LOL, in a holding cell usually inhabited by KevinHD --

Pakiicon_medium I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU FELL FOR THAT!  YOU WERE SO DISTRACTED BY THE NAME OF THE STADIUM THAT YOU COMPLETELY MISSED A RUSSIAN GUY IN A CHEAP POLYESTER SUIT SNEAK UP BEHIND YOU!
Pakiicon_medium THAT WASN'T EVEN A REAL GUN!  HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!
Icontrolololo_medium /shows metric ruler painted silver
Pakiicon_medium I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GOT LOST IN A FOOTBALL STADIUM!  IT'S JUST A BIG BOWL OF CONCRETE, NOT A HOUSE OF MIRRORS!
Obamaicon_medium /points to Clayborn
Obamaicon_medium Don't talk to this guy about Mears AMIRITE!

Pakiicon_medium 
REALLY, WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO LEARN NOT TO FOLLOW ME INTO BASEMENTS?
Pakiicon_medium NOW I CAN SCARE JOEPA INTO HELPING ME DESTROY STANZI ONCE AND FOR ALL!  MY PLAN IS COMPLETE!  THE TRAP HAS BEEN SET!
Pakiicon_medium I JUST NEED A NEW DISGUISE.
Pakiicon_medium /puts on mask
Pakiicon_medium NO LONGER AM I PAKI O'MEARA!  NO LONGER AM I PAKISTANZI!  NOW I AM...

Claybomeara_medium 
...CLAYBO'MEARA!