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MARCHIFORNICATION BRACKET MADNESS: THOU FIRST ROUND IS OVERETH OR SOMETHING

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Round one is completely in the books. No upsets, which displeases us mightily. Sort of. Actually, no it doesn't, because we really weren't prepared to have Jamie Pollard in the finals or anything.

Next week, obviously, will consist of the "Elite Quarterfinals" from Monday through Thursday; Friday, like today, will be reserved for picking up the pieces after (spoiler alert) Acie Earl comes in with a Mossberg and decapitates everyone at point blank range. Stay tuned.

Voting results are below the break.

J Leman Region

(1) Ricky Stanzi beat (8) Tyger Kuntz, 656-77

(4) Girls Generation beat (5) Chrissy Lee, 486-167

(3) Bloodpunch Barta beat (6) Jamie Pollard, 320-53

(2) Joe Paterno and TROLOLOLOLOLOLOOOOO beat (7) Cornshoe Hammaker, disqualification

Bob Zook Region

(1) Hockeybear beat (8) the Gadsden Purchase, 512-91

(4) Tyler Motherfucking Sash beat (5) the Barbasol Couple, 534-110

(3) Brent Metcalf beat (6) Ace the Dog, 342-263

(2) Tim Brewster beat (7) Ron Zook, 365-196