So a running back and a shooting guard walk into a bar…

They both order a drink. The shooting guard says, "you know running back, I like Iowa City a lot but I think I'm gonna transfer...see what else is out there for me."

The running back looked surprised. "But you're a star player. You play many minutes a night and lead the team in scoring, right? You're vital! Why on earth would you want to throw all that away?"

The shooting guard lowers his voice, "Not anymore. I got in trouble a few games back and was suspended and while I am allowed to dress out now, I really don't think I am ever going to play again."

"Suspended? For what?" said the running back. At that moment a waitressed put down a tonic water with two limes and a Virgin Strawberry Daiquiri.

"For fucking with a cabbie," whispered the shooting guard.

"For fucking with a cabbie? That ain't shit! We got a defensive guy over here on the football team that fucked with a cabbie and he didn't miss one game. Are you sure that's the reason?"

"Well, I was also pretty drunk and was cited for public intox," said the shooting guard.

"Drunk? That ain't shit! We got a bunch of guys who've been drunk and cited for public intox over here on the football team. They never miss more than a game or two, which is like one or two weeks in basketball time. Are you sure that's the reason?" asked the running back.

"Well, it was my second time being caught drunk in public," said the shooting guard.

"Second time being caught drunk in public? That ain't shit! Our coaches son got caught two times being drunk in public and all he did was miss spring practice and do some community service stuff. Are you sure that's the reason?" implored the running back.

"Well, now that you put it that way. I wonder why I was suspended for so long and am no longer playing in games?" asked the shooting guard.

"Well, let me ask you something. Who was your back-up?"

"Hmmm...probably Eric May?" said the shooting guard.

"Eric May? But isn't he still getting the same number of minutes he was getting when you were playing?" asked the running back.

"Devan Bawinkle then maybe?" said the shooting guard.

"But Bawinkle is a specialist. He couldn't have been your back-up. He plays when he plays," reasoned the running back.

"Then I guess John Lickliter. He's the only guard really that wasn't playing before I got suspended."

"John Lickliter?" asked the running back.

"Yeah, the coaches son," said the shooting guard.

The running back sat back, rubbed his head and then shouted, "Waitress, we need some drinks here please!"