Scene: The nicest office in the Jacobson Athletic Building. Or Carver, wherever. One man sits at his desk, facing the other in front of him, and neither appears to be happy.
7-5, Kirk.
Yessir.
4th quarter collapses all over the place.
Yessir.
Lots of seniors on their way out.
Yessir.
We play like that next year, we're not going to a bowl.
Yessir.
Not really what I had in mind three months ago, y'know.
Y--no sir. Me neither.
(exhales loudly)
(sits silently)
Guess we shouldn't have spent all summer making prank calls, huh?
In retrospect, Kirk, no, we should not have.
And I probably should have done more with conditioning than having Doyle and the guys go to Ames and overturn cars at their athletic department.
You didn't tell me you'd be doing that.
Yeah, I didn't want you to be an accessory. But I figured it'd be a team-building exercise, y'know, something good for the kids.
Didn't really work, Kirk.
I know.
(exhales again)
(sits silently again)
Well, would this qualify as a lesson learned?
I'd say so.
Should you go work on bowl prep for whoever it is Iowa sees in December?
Yessir.
I probably should.
So...
I did bring all this beer, though, and it's not really going to drink itself. (hefts a sixer onto the table)
That's gumption, Kirk, and I'm proud that you're my coach.
So who do you want to call? I figure we should call Lloyd Carr and tell him we're Michigan and we want him back.
But at a third of the price.
Also he has to keep Greg Robinson as his defensive coordinator.
Does that mean we need to call RichRod first and tell him he's fired?
I think that's exactly what it means.
Awesome, I'll cancel my 2:30. Nobody cares about the baseball program anyway.
We need a reason why we're not paying the buyout, though.
Entire team got arrested for public urination. On the M Club banner. In front of an orphanage.
God, I love this job.
I'd fire you if you weren't awesome.
Hahaha, yeah, I know.