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WE'RE TALKIN' FOOTBALL: EVENING GAMES EDITION

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Well, that was fun.  LOL Michigan tackling.  And good job, Smelley Cocks.  In the nightcap, we have just Northwestern continuing their tour of our hated Big Ten rivals; considering we don't like jNWU much, either, we're kind of hoping for a localized black hole to open up in Evanston. If you can find it, we also have Iowa State trying to follow up their improbable win over Texas Tech with an even more improbable win over Utah.  And in games that have little bearing on Iowa or our own personal schadenfreude, the highlights are LSU and Florida trying to out-ugly one another on offense (and, let's be real: you want to watch it just to see how Miles butchers clock management this week), Kiffykins taking USC into Palo Alto to get bludgeoned, and Florida State and Miami renewing one of the greatest rivalries of the '90s.

* Purdue at just Northwestern (6:30pm CST, BTN)
* Utah at Iowa State (6pm CST, Fox College Sports)
* Colorado at Missouri (6pm CST, FSN)
* Oregon State at Arizona (6pm CST, Versus)
* Eastern Michigan at Vanderbilt (6pm CST, ESPNU) HERM EDWARDS ALERT
* LSU at Florida (6:30pm CST, ESPN)
* Auburn at Kentucky (6:30pm CST, ESPN2)
* USC at Stanford (7pm CST, ABC)
* Florida State at Miami (7pm CST, ABC)
* Mississippi State at Houston (7pm CST, CBS College Sports) MIKE LEACH ALERT
* Arizona State at Washington (9pm CST, FSN)
* San Jose State at Nevada (9:30pm CST, ESPNU)

PLEASE READ: We've had some new faces prowling around these parts lately (which is totally cool), which means we should probably remind folks of the ground rules.  To wit: no links to pirated illegal streams of games, no porn, no slurs (ethnic, sexual, whatever), nothing that really bogs down the thread (i.e., alphabet games), no posting "first!" or "second!", and be judicious in posting images, particularly animated .gif files.  Read after the jump for more detailed descriptions.

 

What's a pirated illegal stream and why can't I talk about it?  If you're watching the game on your computer and you're not watching it on ESPN3.com or Yahoo.com or BTN.com or the official site of a school or conference... you are probably watching a pirated illegal stream.  You can't talk about them here because it gets us into legal hot water.  And you don't want to do that.

What's porn?  We're like the Supreme Court: we know it when we see it.  But, in general, if you avoid naked or blatant cheesecake pictures, you'll be fine.  Look, it's the goddamn internet -- if you can't find porn elsewhere within roughly 2.3 seconds, you're either not trying or you're a fucking idiot.

What's a slur?  We're not going to provide a full "banned words" list or anything, but come on -- use a little common sense and a bit of decorum.    Again, it's the goddamn internet -- if you really need to call someone a "dumb fag," there's probably a place to do that.  But it's not here.  Along the same lines, please don't pick fights with other commenters -- you just wind up looking like a fucking loser.

What bogs down the thread and why do I care?  Look, these threads get a lot of action and for the most part they're an entertaining way to spend a game, riffing on stupid plays, awesome plays, bad announcing, inane commercials, etc.  But certain things really slow them down, like games revolving around listing every WWII general alphabetically or every element of the periodic table. So please don't do that.

What about images?  See above -- they can really slow things down when these threads get massive, especially animated .gif files.  It doesn't mean you can't post them -- just be judicious in using them.  Oh, and that really over-the-top THAT'S RACIST .gif?  Yeah, definitely don't post that.

What's this "first!" or "second!" business?  There's a really stupid internet meme wherein people feel the need to proclaim that they are the first (or second or third or..) person to post in a new thread.  It's really fucking stupid so DON'T DO IT HERE OR YOU WILL BE BANNED.

Break these rules and at the very least your comment will be deleted and you'll be warned; if it's a more severe infraction, you will be banned.