BHGP EXCLUSIVE: JoePa's post-game presser after today's debacle against Illinois:
(TFJ to Mr. Vint)
Well, those early-game appetizers were nice (Illinois did WHAT?), but now it's time for the main event of the day: Michigan versus Michigan State, with an undefeated record, state pride, and the Paul Bunyan Trophy on the line. On one side, we have the Michigan offense Denard Robinson, a breathtaking quick-strike blitzkrieg attack that's yet to find a defense it couldn't puree into a fine mist. On the other side, we have Greg Jones and the Michigan State defense, who take great pleasure on introducing opposing offenses to inordinate amounts of pain and suffering. On yet another side, we have Kirk Cousins and the Michigan State offense, who are rolling along as one of the Big Ten's most underrated -- and balanced -- outfits. And on the fourth side, we have the Michigan defense, which bears a striking resemblance to a toxic waste dump most of the time. This game has added interest for us since Big Blue and Sparty are two of our next three opponents, so in addition to enjoying what ought to be an exciting game, we can do a bit of scouting.
* Michigan State at Michigan (2:30pm CST, ABC/ESPN)
* Alabama at South Carolina (2:30pm CST, CBS)
* Clemson at North Carolina (2:30pm CST, ABC/ESPN)
* Arkansas vs. Texas A&M (2:30pm CST, ABC/ESPN)
* Pitt at Notre Dame (2:30pm CST, NBC)
* UCLA at Cal (2:30pm CST, FSN)
PLEASE READ: We've had some new faces prowling around these parts lately (which is totally cool), which means we should probably remind folks of the ground rules. To wit: no links to pirated illegal streams of games, no porn, no slurs (ethnic, sexual, whatever), nothing that really bogs down the thread (i.e., alphabet games), no posting "first!" or "second!", and be judicious in posting images, particularly animated .gif files. Read after the jump for more detailed descriptions.
What's a pirated illegal stream and why can't I talk about it? If you're watching the game on your computer and you're not watching it on ESPN3.com or Yahoo.com or BTN.com or the official site of a school or conference... you are probably watching a pirated illegal stream. You can't talk about them here because it gets us into legal hot water. And you don't want to do that.
What's porn? We're like the Supreme Court: we know it when we see it. But, in general, if you avoid naked or blatant cheesecake pictures, you'll be fine. Look, it's the goddamn internet -- if you can't find porn elsewhere within roughly 2.3 seconds, you're either not trying or you're a fucking idiot.
What's a slur? We're not going to provide a full "banned words" list or anything, but come on -- use a little common sense and a bit of decorum. Again, it's the goddamn internet -- if you really need to call someone a "dumb fag," there's probably a place to do that. But it's not here. Along the same lines, please don't pick fights with other commenters -- you just wind up looking like a fucking loser.
What bogs down the thread and why do I care? Look, these threads get a lot of action and for the most part they're an entertaining way to spend a game, riffing on stupid plays, awesome plays, bad announcing, inane commercials, etc. But certain things really slow them down, like games revolving around listing every WWII general alphabetically or every element of the periodic table. So please don't do that.
What about images? See above -- they can really slow things down when these threads get massive, especially animated .gif files. It doesn't mean you can't post them -- just be judicious in using them. Oh, and that really over-the-top THAT'S RACIST .gif? Yeah, definitely don't post that.
What's this "first!" or "second!" business? There's a really stupid internet meme wherein people feel the need to proclaim that they are the first (or second or third or..) person to post in a new thread. It's really fucking stupid so DON'T DO IT HERE OR YOU WILL BE BANNED.
Break these rules and at the very least your comment will be deleted and you'll be warned; if it's a more severe infraction, you will be banned.