OMG WINNING STREAK. WE'VE GOT BREAKAWAY SPEED. IT'S NOTHING BUT GREEN GRASS AND WHITE STRIPES. CELEBRATION TIME!
Touchdown fail. Music fail. See how fast it can come crashing down? Stay focused.
Sometimes when I look at the grid, I can tell who the runaway poll winner is going to be. I think this is one of those weeks. I'm not going to say who it is now, because I believe very intensely in the integrity of the poll, but I'll whisper it in your ear a little later. Since I'm not very good at keeping secrets, I'm going to follow this with a sentence of gibberish to stop myself from giving it away. Motor oil pelican tits dickhelmet cornvacuum coffeetable chinstrap grandmother throatrocket cocksack pie.
First cast your vote. Then stayed tuned after the jump for my favorite part, where I 'name and shame' commentors and pick the smartest anonymous internet person from last week....
Y'all fucked up. Emphases mine, so your eyes can see the failure.
Fail 1: Ray Finkle
Illinois. The Zookster is taking the Joe Pa route and just letting the people with a clue coach. I might even take them straight up. I also love OSU. I also really like spaghetti.
Fail 2: KegMaster
//end potential failpost
Fail 3: The Bacon Explosion
Simply playing the odds you have to put $5 of the Fightin’ Zookers to win, payout is too good to pass up because hey, it’s your money.
But then......there was a break in the clouds. It's rare that a commentor can combine sweet religious prose with football gambling accuracy, but here is a phenomenal example. I give you, the winner of this week's HAWKSTRADAMUS award:
In that day they will say, "Surely this is our God; we trusted in him, and he saved us. This is the LORD, we trusted in him; let us rejoice and be glad in his salvation." The hand of the LORD will rest on this mountain; but Denard will be trampled under him as straw is trampled down in the manure." Isaiah 25:9-10
Iowa -3.5 so let it be written
Blasphemy > Losing. Remember that.