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POLL: Bring Us Your Iowa-Wisconsin Fears

Traitor. (Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images)
Traitor. (Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images)
Getty Images

This week brings us our final game for the forseeable future against our most competitive rivals, the yin to our yang, the Soviet Union to our United States of fucking America, the Red Menace to our Team America. I refer, of course, to the vile Wisconsin Badgers, those crimson-clad jag-offs who seek more than just a win in a football game on Saturday and to take our trophy back to their depraved burrow -- they seek to extinguish our way of life. And they seek to do while cloaking themselves under the veil of patriotism -- THE VERY NERVE. We will not stand for this sort of nonsense. So tell us what disturbs you the most about the filthy Badgers.