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Attention Deficit Disorder

Iowa1_medium   So, how do you like me now bitches?


 Images_medium  Excuse me?


Iowa1_medium    You heard me. We just rocked the Pee Coats and Chris Myers made us America’s team, all in one night!


Images_medium I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the Boise State feel good story we are still writing and Mac Brown’s press conference.


Iowa1_medium   Whatever. Well, we return almost everyone so you are going to have to deal with us again next year. In the words of Shevardnadze, "We’ll be back."


Images_medium  You mean Schwarzenegger. And the quote is "I’ll be back" not "We'll be back."


Iowa1_medium   So suddenly you're interested in preciseness and details? Please.


Large_bigten_feature-thumb-300x203-16983_medium Hey, I hope you guys plan to play fair here. The Big Ten’s upper tier not only won all their games, they demolished their opponents. The games were not anyhere as close as the scores indicate.


Images_medium  Can’t you see we are under the covers with Alabama right now? How about a little privacy for goodness sakes.


Iowa1_medium   But we just played the Orange Bowl, a BCS game. And we won. Big. Where are the articles? Where is the love?


Images_medium  Hey Roberta Flack, listen, media love is not about play on the field. It’s about hype and propaganda.


Iowa1_medium    So what are you saying here? Our players gotta act like fools and our coach has to make endlessly grandiose claims about our team and stuff like that?


Images_medium  No, no, no. We aren’t seduced by player misbehavior nonsense or outrageous coaching claims. We cover what the public wants to know about. Don’t kill the messenger. You’re just not that interesting.


 Large_bigten_feature-thumb-300x203-16983_medium  And what about us? 


Images_medium What about you?


 Large_bigten_feature-thumb-300x203-16983_medium  We're interesting. We just set records this bowl season. We beat four teams ranked in the Top 15. We are the only conference to ever do that. Did it twice, including this year. We destroyed media darling Oregon in the Grandaddy, we took out the most storied program of the last 25 years in Da U, we took out a two time National Champion of the past decade in LSU, and we utterly dominated the Evil Genius.


Images_medium  It’s one year. You’ll be back to your old tricks next year. We’ll probably rank Ohio State too highly and they will lose to Miami before the ink is dry. We’ll fawn over Penn State who will lose to Alabama, per always. We’ll sprinkle some attention on Wisconsin and they will do the unthinkable somewhere along the line.


Iowa1_medium    And us? What about us?


Images_medium  Two words for you in the big boy britches: Iowa State.

Iowa1_medium    Aw, Fuck you.