Get out the hard liquor. Close the blinds. Load the shotgun. That's right: It's time for the Iowa State game.
Oops Pow Surprise is in Ames, starting fights and burning wooden structures. But have no fear: Hawkeye State is here, and he hates this game more than anything in the world. He hates it more than he hates the Taliban. He hates it more than he hates Brett Favre. He hates it so much, it's somehow tripped the circuit in his brain that prevents him from typing in the third person. Hawkeye State is losing his mind.
11:00 CST kickoff from Jack Three Times, televised on FSN/Comcast SportsNet with coverage by three guys I've never heard of. You know the drill. Let's get it on.