The Davey O'Brien watch list came out today. Four QBs in the Big Ten are on it. Well, since everybody knows Swingin' Dick Stanzi is by far the best signal-caller in the conference, this should be just a formality:
PARDON ME SIR BUT YOU SEEM TO BE MISSING AN AMERICAN HERO.
Stanzi was inexplicably left off the list, while such scoundrels and haberdashers as Ryan Mallett were named. While it's certainly not binding when it comes to crafting the list of semifinalists later this season, the omission is an obvious slap in the face to Stanzi, one for which Hawkeye Nation boils with unabated anger.
So we have to do this. We have to do this as fard as we can. WE HAVE TO MANCOTT.
So LET IT BE KNOWN, from this day forward, every single Iowan on every single Internet will now MANCOTT everything named Davey and/or O'Brien.
BRITISH BULLDOG DAVEY BOY SMITH WAS AN AWFUL WRESTLER AND HIS BEADS WERE STUPID
ROHAN DAVEY CAN GET FUCKED
M WARD'S TRANSFIGURATION OF VINCENT AND ITS SONG VINCENT O'BRIEN IS DEAD TO ME
ONE TIME I FORGOT WHO WROTE MGOBLOG AND THEN I REMEMBERED AND SAID "OH, BRIAN COOK" WHICH IS SUFFICIENTLY SIMILAR TO O'BRIEN THAT WE HOPE HE GETS THE DREADED CANINE AIDS SO HARD HIS HEAD FALLS OFF
POTATOES O'BRIEN MAY OR MAY NOT BE A REAL DISH BUT IF IT IS IT HAD BETTER WATCH ITS GODDAMN BACK BECAUSE WE ARE NOT FUCKING AROUND HERE
POTATOES AU GRATIN IS GUILTY BY ASSOCIATION AND NOW WE HATE IT
KEN O'BRIEN, LONGTIME JETS SIGNAL-CALLER, NEVER EXISTED BUT FOR THE TWISTED, BESOTTED IMAGINATION OF PAT SUMMERALL, WHOM WE HOPE GOES COMPLETELY SOBER SO THAT KEN IS LOST TO THE ETHER OF OBLIVION
HEY REEBOK: DIE.
DAN'S LAST NAME IS O'BRIEN SO FUCK THEM BOTH YOUR SHOES HAVE GONORRHEA TOO FUCKING BAD WANT TO CRY ABOUT IT CRY INTO THESE FRESH FROSTED SHITCAKES
THE FROSTING IS EXTRA SHIT IN CASE YOU WERE CURIOUS
APPARENTLY THE LEAD SINGER OF AFI IS THIS GUY NAMED DAVEY HAVOK AND HOLY FUCK IS THIS GUY EVER A PIECE OF SHIT, HE'S SO BAD THE TOILET SAID NO AND TRIED TO PUT IT BACK UP SOCIETY'S BUTT, BUT SOCIETY SAID NO WAY SO IT JUST GOES BACK AND FORTH FROM THE BUTT TO THE TOILET WATER AND SOMEHOW ALONG THE WAY IT GOT AN EMO MAKEOVER THE LIKES OF WHICH WOULD KILL EVEN THE WHINIEST OF 13 YEAR OLDS SO FUCK THIS GUY FOR REAL YOU ARE 33 YEARS OLD SO FUCKING ACT LIKE IT
RICKY STANZI IS LIKE THE TOP GUY EVER
FUCK YOU DAVEY O'BRIEN
MORE LIKE DAVEY O'SAMA BIN LADEN
OR MORE LIKE VAGINA O'YEAST INFECTION VON PUNCH YOURSELF IN THE FUCKING THROAT UNTIL YOU SUFFOCATE YOU COCK WART