clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Wow, That's a Really Nice Record--Hey, Wait a Damn Minute

New, 30 comments

Over there in the Fan!Post!s, PantherHawk noticed The Brew Crew Report, the official blog of Play4Brew.com.

On it, Brewster has helpfully included a nice, short resume in image file form, which we're happy to pass along here.

Blogthing_medium

Ahem. Brewster's record most certainly isn't 113-61-1, mainly because he hasn't coached anywhere near 175 games. 8-17 is the correct answer (on that note: LOL). There are only a few possibilities as to why he's trying to pull this off.

1) He's taking credit for Mack Brown's wins at Texas and UNC. That would be the most plausible excuse, as well as the height of toomuchery. Those aren't your wins, man! Being that Brewster was never higher in the Mack Brown hierarchy than "tight ends coach," padding his own stats with Texas' wins seems like juuust a bit of a stretch.

2) He's including his dynasty on NCAA 09. This, too, shouldn't count, especially because Brewster's created coach isn't himself, it's a fictional old fat guy named Biff Boswell, and whenever Brewster pretends to be the coach and give a "press conference" while he's playing, he always uses a weird Foghorn Leghorn voice, which irritates his wife to no end.

3) doodoopoop. doodoopoop.

4) He's also managing the Minnesota Twins. Being that they're both Metrodome-based, this makes sense, and BHGP has long held that Ron Gardenhire is a hologram like in that one really shitty Al Pacino movie with the CGI chick who never takes her top off or shows full frontal, even though c'mon, you shouldn't get a rated R thing for that because they're not actual boobs. Stupid movie.

Or, we suppose the real answer might be as simple as 5) Tim Brewster is plain fucko retarded. The fact that he misspelled Chris Simms' and Mack Brown's names on his own promotional material directly supports this idea. Still, this answer is the least satisfying of the five, and as always, we're more than receptive to hearing your theories in the comments below.