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Requiem For A Shane Prater

Good night, funny man: Shane Prater has left the Iowa football team due to bad grades and will enroll at Iowa Western. He can pull a Spievey and get back into academic good graces and rejoin the Hawkeyes in a year with 3 years of eligibility left, which sounds like the best... oh, I'm sorry, you don't like that?

"With the party life, football and all kinds of stuff going on, it was kind of hard to cope with," said Prater, who had been on the honor roll at Central. "My first semester and summer school were pretty good, but my second semester didn’t go that well. So it was either go to summer school and take a three-week class or go to a juco. I decided to go to a juco so I can pursue my future at another school."

Fine then. Go.

What's most upsetting is that Prater leaves behind his identical twin, Shaun, who we all remember from Bartender Sabotage 2009. That breaks our hearts, mainly because Shane redshirted, so the Iowa staff never got to pull any tricks where the refs think it's Shaun on the field, but it's actually Shane, and all the other players think Shaun is hurt because he got hit by a steel chair, but Shane's just pretending to be hurt, so they throw at him, and he pops right up and gets an interception then pins the guy and oh god we watched way, way too much wrestling in the '90s. Oh, we suppose that scenario could never happen. Not unless Iowa got that new defensive backs coach that we've always been hoping for:

(Also, he'd be good at using his cane to trip guys running down the sideline.)