Scene: a dark, dingy office, which also happens to be the best office at the miserable university in the miserable state. It is noon, but the sun does not rise in Minnesota from mid-July to mid-June. A socially inept young man types anxiously at a computer. Suddenly, a door flies open.
Okay, so we're listing only 12 of the 13 games we played last year and we're omitting our worst defeat to our most bitter rival. That just seems extraordinarily unethical. People have better memories than that.
First of all, just because I'm a male secretary, doesn't mean I'm gay. I've told you that like a thousand times. And second, quit holding it against me that Title IX means they had to fire a female secretary and hire me. I don't make the rules around here. So just give me JoePa.
I AM REFERRING TO ALL IRISH, THEY ARE A NOTORIOUSLY UNTRUSTWORTHY BREED