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FERENTZ ARRESTED FOR PUBLIC INTOX

Okay, we're talking about James Ferentz, not Kirk, but yes, he just got arrested, along with Tyler Christensen and Zach Derby. This is Iowa. This is what we do.

This, as you'll probably recall, isn't young James' first brush with the law; just a few months ago, he was nailed for possession of alcohol, though that's just a ticket (and an Iowa City rite of passage, some would argue). Public intox, though, is different. Cops see thousands of drunk kids every day and don't arrest them. You have to earn a public intox charge. There haven't been any details of the arrest released, only Ferentz (the coach) releasing a typical coachy statement:

“It was very disappointing to learn of the behavior of our three players last night. Short term, all three will be suspended for the remainder of spring practice and they will be expected to fulfill significant community service obligations the next several weekends. Additional action will be determined at a later point and return to the team will be based on additional criteria.”

So that'll be four points for the Fulmer Cup, since Christensen also got the old standard, the fifth-degree criminal mischief. I never thought mischief was a crime, just a type of behavior for Curious George. But I digress.

So since they haven't released any details, we're going to handle this the old fashioned way: reckless speculation in the comments! Our early favorite theory is streaking.