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Welcome To The NFL, Part 1: The Drafteds

So, Iowa got a few guys drafted. Four is good, though we were really hoping for five or six, and at least one guy (Shonn) going on Saturday. That didn't happen, but all in all, good times.

This never gets old.

Money is green, and Greene is money: Congrats to the Jets, who said, for all intents and purposes, "screw the rest of the draft; we want Shonn Greene right now." At the start of the 3rd round, the Jets' front office sent every remaining pick but one to the Lions for the first pick of the day, then immediately scooped up Greene. He'll be stepping into a situation where Thomas Jones is getting his bitch on (and kinda for good reason; base salary of $900,000? Jeez), and the only other tailback worth a crap is Leon Washington. Now the only questions are from whom Greene takes carries, and how many.

Rex Ryan and Shonn Greene are a match well made; consider these two quotes:

"He was the best player that was on our board," Jets Coach Rex Ryan said. "In our opinion, it wasn’t close.

"He’s a big, powerful running back. We want to have a little ground and pound."

"The game of football is a physical sport. That’s why I enjoy it so much," Greene told reporters. "I love contact. It’s violent, it’s quick, it’s fast. That’s just the nature of my game, how I like to play the game."

Considering that Jones is 31 in August and about to price himself out of the league--there's not much of a market for slowing tailbacks who command 12-year-veteran money, which Jones ought to be at the end of his contract --it looks like this is a situation where Greene can thrive for years, especially since his knees are younger than his 24 years suggest. Proud ovation for Greene and the Jets.

Fletch lives: We're still in shock as to how Bradley Fletcher could have improved - not even from freshman to senior, but junior to senior - to the point that he's going in the early third round. But sure enough, right after Greene went, the Rams said "oh yeah, Iowa's got some guys"* and took Fletcher with the 66th pick.

Todd McShay immediately killed the pick, using the usual scout-talk overreaction that makes us wonder why Fletcher even plays football in the first place:

Fletcher was the biggest reach. While he's a big, physical corner, he lacks ideal range and is not an overly instinctive playmaker, so I'm not sure he'll ever be more than another sub-package DB on a roster filled with plenty of them already.

Easy there, Todd. Fletcher was also widely considered the best cover-2 corner at the Senior Bowl; the truth likely lies somewhere in the middle. Since we're horribly biased, of course, we'll say "fuck that truth" and demand that ESPN add the phrase "who is covered in Awesomesauce" after Fletcher's name in perpetuity in compensation for such a greivous slight.

A much better selection than his twin sisters, Mary-Kate and Ashley: After a few dozen picks in which we wondered why the hell Unusual Punishment hadn't been drafted yet, Seth Olsen went to Denver with the 132nd pick, late in the 4th round.

You let that belly HANG, brother!

We're not sure he's got the lateral quickness to play tackle and stop an elite pass rusher-- as a matter of fact, we're kind of sure that's one reason why Ferentz plugged him in at guard-- but tackle seems to be where MHR's analysis is projecting him anyway. We'll be very interested to see what kind of playing time Olsen earns, where, and what he does with it.

Um… thank you?: Normally, when a team trades up to take a player, they're so convinced that he's the best player available that he's worth multiple picks to get on the roster. The assumption, though, is that said team's scouting staff is A: competent, B: a staff at all, and C: anybody other than Al Davis.

After two truly miserable selections to start the draft--it's incredible when you take 2009's Troy Williamson at the #7 pick and that's not even your worst move of the first day by a long shot--the Raiders slogged through an uneventful Day 2 before trading their 7th pick and next year's 6th (or something like that) to get TE Brandon Myers. That would usually be an indication that the Raiders think Myers is a lock to make the final roster, but again, the Al Davis thing. Anymore, we're genuinely surprised Davis selected actual, eligible, human football players with every pick, and didn't finally snap and draft his cat. Mr. Snugglestein has the fluid hips and lateral speed for the next level, etc. etc.

But we digress. Myers has a plausible shot at a roster spot, considering the Raiders' TE situation consists of three corpses named Zach Miller, Tony Stewart, and Darrell Strong. We've only ever heard of one of them; that'd be Miller, who we picked up off waivers in fantasy football to fill a bye week slot a couple years ago, then immediately dropped after he contributed zero catches for zero yards. Fuck you Zach Miller.

Miller, seen here playing football like an asshole.

Either way, we hope Myers brings along a wooden stake, as it's entirely possible that he'll need to slay Al Davis in order to save himself from becoming one of the undead.

And then the draft ended, and Mitch King, who we were pretty sure would be picked somewhere around the middle of the draft, was still a free agent. NFL teams can be goddamn stupid sometimes.

More on the free agents tonight.