#1 SEED: KEN O'KEEFE
Tournament bid: Automatic
Pros
- Presided over a rather potent offense in 2008
- Roomies (and totally besties) with HFMR
- Assumed a double agency
Cons
- Called four straight dropback passes on 1st and goal against jNW with the Hawkeyes down by 5, handing jNW the biggest upset in BXI play this year
- Got Christensen's arm bitten off by a bear
Statement
Hey guys! It's great to be a part of March Madness on BLACKHEARTS.NET.BLUG or whatever you guys call this place. I could never "pass" on giving my favorite website some love, and I hope I get to "run" all the way to a title! My favorite "offensive line" is, "I don't give a dang!" Sorry for the coarse language. Vote for me and I'll never call another bubble screen again! [He is fucking lying.--ed]
#8 SEED: THE METRODOME STALL WHERE THE TWO IOWA FANS SEXED EACH OTHER UP
Tournament bid: Sponsor's exemption
Pros
- "Facilitated" (I'm so sorry) the legendary sort of drunken debauchery Iowa fans pride themselves on
Cons
- Also facilitated the wholly loathsome behavior of internet-stalking the two participants to the point that their lives were wrecked. No, we're not posting their names or pictures, and Christ no, there's no video. Go jack off somewhere else, you fucking savages.
Statement
(taps foot) Tap tap tap tap tap. Hey. Y'ever heard of a "glory hole"?