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REMARCHIFORNICATION BRACKET MADNESS ROUND ONE: KEN O'KEEFE VS. THE METRODOME STALL

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#1 SEED: KEN O'KEEFE

Gamekok_medium

Tournament bid: Automatic

Pros

Cons

  • Called four straight dropback passes on 1st and goal against jNW with the Hawkeyes down by 5, handing jNW the biggest upset in BXI play this year
  • Got Christensen's arm bitten off by a bear

Statement

Gamekok_thumb_medium Hey guys! It's great to be a part of March Madness on BLACKHEARTS.NET.BLUG or whatever you guys call this place. I could never "pass" on giving my favorite website some love, and I hope I get to "run" all the way to a title! My favorite "offensive line" is, "I don't give a dang!" Sorry for the coarse language. Vote for me and I'll never call another bubble screen again! [He is fucking lying.--ed]

#8 SEED: THE METRODOME STALL WHERE THE TWO IOWA FANS SEXED EACH OTHER UP

Toilet_medium

Tournament bid: Sponsor's exemption

Pros

Cons

  • Also facilitated the wholly loathsome behavior of internet-stalking the two participants to the point that their lives were wrecked. No, we're not posting their names or pictures, and Christ no, there's no video. Go jack off somewhere else, you fucking savages.

Statement

Larry_craig_stall_on_left_medium (taps foot) Tap tap tap tap tap. Hey. Y'ever heard of a "glory hole"?