FACE OFF
Good morning, Mr. Paterno!
WHAT
Today's your second round matchup against Tim Brewster.
WHO IN THE HELL IS THAT
SECRETARY
I'm right here. I was just talking to you three seco
WHO IS TIM THE ROOSTER
DON'T TELL ME YOU'VE LET JAY WATCH HIS CARTOONS AGAIN
No no. Brewster. Head coach of Minnesota.
Hello, Joe! TRY BEST WIN
WHAT DID YOU CALL ME
MR. PATERNO WILL BE FINE, THANK YOU
Kinda weird that we've never "squared off" before, isn't it? My first two years in the league and PSU's off our schedule? Insane! TRY GO BEST FIGHT
I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW ONE THING, YOUNGBLOOD
THIS TOURNAMENT IS MINE AND I WON'T LET YOU TAKE IT FROM ME WITHOUT A FIGHT
THAT IS WHY I AM WEARING THESE BRASS KNUCKLES
You just wrapped tin foil around your hands a couple times.
BRASS IS HEAVY
THIS WILL GIVE YOU A NASTY CASE OF THE SCRAPES AS I RAIN BLOWS DOWN UPON YOU
Aw, come on, Mr. Paterno! This
THANK YOU
…this is a joyous day, so we should be celebrating! ERIN GO BRAGH!
WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY
ERIN GO FIGHT WIN TRY BEST HARD BRAGH
EITHER SOMEONE WAS RETARDED ENOUGH TO BIRTH YOU AN INVISIBLE DAUGHTER TO WHOM YOU'RE NOW DISPENSING RANDOM MOTIVATIONAL LANGUAGE BEFORE THROWING UP, OR YOU ARE TRYING TO SPEAK THE CODE OF THE DIRTY IRISHMEN
But it's St. Patrick's Day!
SILENCE
I WON'T TOLERATE THE IRISH AND I WON'T TOLERATE YOU
YOU ARE LUCKY TODAY IS A DAY OF CELEBRATION
But I thought you didn't like St. Patr
I SAID SILENCE
TODAY IS GOOD FOR ONE THING AND ONE THING ONLY
PATRICK DUFFY'S BIRTHDAY
Hooray!
Jeez. You'd think you'd get some sympathy for this holiday from someone who looks so much like a leprechaun.
(snicker)
THAT CALLS FOR FISTICUFFS
SECRETARY, RAISE MY ARMS AND DROP THEM ON THIS MAN'S HEAD SO THAT I MAY PUMMEL HIM
Will you share your pot of gold with me if I do?
GOD DAMN IT
I love this holiday!
(eats Lucky Charms in front of the tv)