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REMARCHIFORNICATION BRACKET MADNESS ROUND 1: RON ZOOK VS. BOBERT ZOOK

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SEED #2: RON ZOOK

Zooksmash_medium

Tournament bid: Ordered via text message

Pros

Cons

  • Is actually the last coach to beat Iowa in football
  • Fratricide is kinda frowned upon here at BHGP

Breadman

Statement

Zookicon_medium WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! The Zooker is rollin', baby! YEAH! We just had a heck of a season. Won some games, lost some. Pretty psyched up! Who wants to go lift some weights?! Anyone want a Boat? I'll sell you mine! Go skiin' together! WHOOOOO!!

Zookicon_medium anyway, vote for me over my Shithead brother and we'll all go get robodroned tonight, ZOOK's honer! In fact, ZOOK's been on 'er over and over!

Zookicon_medium ROFL!

Zookicon_medium ps Bobert is dum

#7 SEED: BOBERT ZOOK

Bobzook_medium

Tournament bid: Found it in a dumpster behind Bennigan's

Pros

Cons

Statement

Iconbhgp_medium ...actually, we couldn't find Bobert. Turns out he got evicted from the storage lot back a couple weeks ago. He didn't leave a forwarding address, either, just an old piece of paper with one word on it: "Valhola." Bobert, it seems, is not much of a speller

Bobzookicon_medium Here I am!

Iconbhgp_medium Oh, he was just like two units over.

Bobzookicon_medium Yeah, they don't check these things very often. Do you know how easy it is to break a padlock?

Iconbhgp_medium Um, not very?

Bobzookicon_medium Pretty much. But I get along. You want a beer?

Iconbhgp_medium Really? Um, I guess so, you got... well, wait, what kind of beer?

Bobzookicon_medium Little bit of the O'Dozer.

Iconbhgp_medium There's no alcohol in this stuff!

Bobzookicon_medium Whatever man, it's cheap. Grab a seat. I found this guitar and I'm gonna play some Zeppelin.

Iconbhgp_medium Sweeeet.