clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

REMARCHIFORNICATION BRACKET MADNESS ROUND ONE: JAMIE POLLARD VS. OLD TESTAMENT HEP

New, 19 comments

SEED #3: JAMIE POLLARD

Plollard_medium

Tournament bid: Consolation prize in Gene Chizik sweepstakes (shown above)

Pros

Tried to sign Gene Chizik to an extension at ISU

Failed, obviously

Went all weepy Rickey Henderson on us

Commissioned a Beyond Photoshop of the new coach

Took his inconsolability across memes

Cons

None at all.

Statement

Iconpollard_medium Shut up! Just shut up! Don't look at me! I'm not crying! Jamie Pollard wouldn't cry! I love my job and I love the Cyclones! I'm so happy I'm going to sing the fight song! Hail, to the Cyclones valiant, hail, to the Iowa States, hail, hail, to Michi-Iowa, the... oh Christ I don't even know my own school's fight song! WHERE DID IT ALL GO WRONG?!

Iconpollard_medium (runs away crying)

Iconpollard_medium I SAID DON'T LOOK AT ME!

#6 SEED: OLD TESTAMENT HEP

Hepshead_medium

Tournament bid: Awarded out of mortal fear

Pros

Set Indiana's stadium ablaze over perceived insolence

Cons

Single-headedly wrecked Iowa's 2007 season over perceived insolence

Statement

Newtesthep_medium RARRRAARRRRRGH WHO GOES THERE

Iconbhgp_medium Oh, hey Hep. We're doing the tourney thing. It's your turn today.

Newtesthep_medium HEP DOES NOT CARE FOR TRIFLES SUCH AS BHGP

Iconbhgp_medium Dude, come on, your fans love you.

Newtesthep_medium HEP WANTS TO GO BACK TO BED

Newtesthep_medium IT FEELS LIKE IT IS AN HOUR EARLIER THAN THE CLOCK SAYS

Iconbhgp_medium Hmm.

Iconbhgp_medium So, um, Old Testament Hep, how do you feel about that?

Oldtesthep_medium HEPSHEPSUT CURRRRSSSSE DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME

Iconbhgp_medium Hahaha, here we go!

Oldtesthep_medium WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING

Oldtesthep_medium HEPSHEPSUT HATE INSOLENCE

Iconbhgp_medium Oh, lighten up

Oldtesthep_medium HEPSHEPSUT CURRRRSSSE BHGP

Iconbhgp_medium Wait, wha

Bhdp_medium

OLD TESTAMENT HEP HAS PUT A DEATH CURSE ON BHGP.