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Ken O'Keefe Looking Forward to Getting His GPK On

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So I just read about Ferentz's new contract and thought that a good friend of mine, fresh off a 16-hour Cartoon Network marathon, would be interested to hear the news. You would think that a member of the coaching staff would know the deal, but his relationship with the other coaches has been a little strained since an ugly incident prior to the Outback Bowl.

 


Spitzheadzb2yx0_medium  Hey Ken, did you hear Kirk got a 7 year extension?


Kokld3en6_medium  Yes! YES! YESSSSSSS!


Spitzheadzb2yx0_medium  Yeah, good news huh?


Kokld3en6_medium  What? No, I just figured out Blues Clues. What'd you say?


Spitzheadzb2yx0_medium  Kirk got a 7 year contract extension worth close to 3 million a year.


Kokld3en6_medium  You mean like......dollars?  What the shit?   He told me we he was getting paid in Garbage Pail Kids like me.


Spitzheadzb2yx0_medium  Uhhhh....like you?

 Kokld3en6_medium  Armpit Britt! Ewwwwwwwwww!  Armpittbrittcb1_medium

 

Kokld3en6_medium  Horny Hal!   Hornyhalal5_medium


Kokld3en6_medium  LOL...horny.

 

 


Spitzheadzb2yx0_medium  Seriously Ken, I think you should...

Kokld3en6_medium  HAHAHAHAHAHA  Barfin' Bart!   Barfinbartci7_medium

 

Spitzheadzb2yx0_medium  Ken listen to me. This is important.

Kokld3en6_medium  Fine.  What.

Spitzheadzb2yx0_medium  According to the article....

 Kokld3en6_medium* snicker * .....bony   Bonytonyzn0_medium

 

Spitzheadzb2yx0_medium  .....it says that "his assistant coaches will be able to receive additional compensation if they meet certain goals."

Kokld3en6_medium  Annnnnnnnd?

Spitzheadzb2yx0_medium  You're an assistant coach.

Kokld3en6_medium  Go on....

Spitzheadzb2yx0_medium  Oh for fuck sake....if the team does well, you could get more money.

Kokld3en6_medium  No problem, we held opponents to like 12 points per game last year.

Spitzheadzb2yx0_medium  That's defense.

Kokld3en6_medium  You can say that again.

Spitzheadzb2yx0_medium  You don't coach the defense, Ken.

Kokld3en6_medium  Oh. Right. The other guy does that.

Spitzheadzb2yx0_medium  Norm Parker?

Kokld3en6_medium  If he's the fat guy that gave me a swirley after the Michigan State game, then yeah. Him.

Spitzheadzb2yx0_medium  You're not going to get paid for what Norm does.

Kokld3en6_medium  Crappypants buttfart!

Spitzheadzb2yx0_medium  Language, Ken. Listen, just do what you're supposed to do next year and you'll be fine.

Kokld3en6_medium  So....

Spitzheadzb2yx0_medium  .....

Kokld3en6_medium  I....should......

Spitzheadzb2yx0_medium  Focus Ken.

Kokld3en6_medium  Hawkeyes?

Spitzheadzb2yx0_medium  Come on, you know this.

Kokld3en6_medium  Foot....ball. Team.

Spitzheadzb2yx0_medium  Getting closer.  Expand on that.

Kokld3en6_medium  Score points?

Spitzheadzb2yx0_medium  Atta boy!  And if you do that, you're going to make some REAL money....and I think you know what that means.

Kokld3en6_medium  Hell yeah.  More Garbage Pail Kids.

 

Drunkkenov1_medium