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It's Not Plagiarism if You BEEF ARF ARF BEEF



We Call Them Digits, but Technically They're Known as the Phalanges.  We finally have confirmation of this week's worst-kept secret: Pat Angerer tore some ligaments in his right thumb last week, and will wear a plastic cast during this week's game.  It shouldn't effect his availability or playing time, but tackling and coverage are clearly hindered to some extent by the cast.  Fortunately, Pat's not too worried about it:

Senior linebacker Pat Angerer tore ligaments in his right thumb early in the Arkansas State game, but he said it won't affect his status for this week or beyond.

"You don't need thumbs,'' he said. "My best friend is my brother's dog. He doesn't have any thumbs and he's doing fine.''

I'm not going to get into the humor inherent in an eight-toed defensive coordinator sending signals to a defensive captain without thumbs.  Instead, can I ask that someone on the team take Pat Angerer out for a beer?  It's not bad enough that the starting middle linebacker for a top-15 college football team cites a dog as his best friend; THE DOG ISN'T EVEN HIS.  Someone buy him a ticket to a movie or something before Angerer becomes Angerererer.

Dude, You're Getting Overrated.  BCS Guru, which has a Nostradmus-like ability to predict the Bowl Championship Series rankings when they don't yet exist, places Iowa ninth in the mythical standings this week, a mere .0041 behind Cincinnati.  The Hawkeyes' significant improvement in the BCS over their placement in the USA Today and Harris polls comes down to one thing:  The computers fucking love us.  As Eleven Warriors found, Iowa averages a rating of 4.8 in the five relevant polls, with both Colley and Massey placing the Hawks second overall.

Unfortunately, such performance is virtually unsustainable.  As the SEC non-round robin continues to spin, each successive week will close the strength-of-schedule gap.  Iowa counters with games at Wisconsin (a top 5 team in three computer polls, to be sure) and Ohio State (not particularly liked by the spreadsheets), and Indiana/Northwestern/Minnesota aren't going to help matters.  Enjoy it while you can, then.  We may never see this place again.

Caring is Hypocritical.  Illinois 4-star tight end (and UIUC verbal commit) C.J. Fiedorowicz was scheduled to visit Iowa this weekend, then travel to Wisconsin for next week's game.  Those visits are now cancelled at -- get this -- the behest of The Zooker:

Fiedorowicz has since changed his plans, according to his high school coach Barry Creviston. Instead of attending the Iowa-Michigan game on Saturday at Kinnick Stadium, Fiedorowicz, who made a verbal commitment to Illinois in the summer, will be in Champaign, Ill., to watch Illinois face Michigan State.

[The Walking Consonant's high school coach Barry] Creviston said Fiedorowicz spoke with the Illinois coaches Tuesday night and apparently was convinced to honor his commitment. "C.J. talked with U of (Illinois) last night and he is not coming to Iowa (Friday)," Creviston said. "They kind of gave him the 'You made a verbal. We’d like you to honor that. It doesn’t look good.'"

If there's one thing that Ron Zook has exhibited in his eight seasons as a college head coach, it's respect for the sanctity of the verbal commitment.  I can't think of one instance of Ron Zook poaching someone else's committed player.  Not Jason Ford.  Not Corey Lewis.  Not half the Illinois roster.  Nope, not once has Ron Zook gone after a kid who has verbally committed somewhere else.  Not once when discussing recruiting has Zook said, "No doesn't always mean no, so you keep pushing."*  

I'd say instant karma's gonna get you, Illinois, but deep down I think you know it already has.

* -- I'm going nowhere near the obvious jokes.  The comment section is open.