Hey everybody. I'm Oops Pow Surprise of Black Heart/Gold Pants, and I'm here with Oklahoma State head football coach Mike Gundy! Mike, how the heck are you today?
I'm doing great, Oops Pow, thanks for having me.
Well, most people know you as a Big XII coach, Mike...
That's true.
...but you're a fan of all conferences?
That's true too. I think fans, coaches, and players can all learn and expand their horizons from observing as much football as possible. Not every game can be a shootout, and you have to know how to win any kind of game.
Sage words, Coach. So, I assume your list starts with Curtis Painter.
No, I don't think so, Oopsworth. Matt Hinton does an outstanding job of breaking down Painter's shortcomings. Sure, he has big numbers, but they're against lousy competition; he and his team have been putrid when it matters. Sorry, all-conference is more than fantasy football.
Fair enough. How about the ultimate game manager, Todd Boeckman?
Okay, just because I'm not advocating one extreme doesn't make it okay to swing to the total opposite, okay?!
All--all right--
"All, all right." Wiener. Boeckman is the other piece of stale bread on this sandwich, someone who hasn't won a game for his team yet. He's at best the 7th best player on that entire offense. He's not even the best QB on his team.
Well, what do you have in mind? Brian Hoyer?
Nope.
Kellen Lewis, let's say.
Kellen Lewis? Son, that guy doesn't even start on his team! You obviously don't have a football team!
Then I'm afraid to ask about anyone else.
Ask it, fat man! ASK!
Juice Williams?
Here we go.
And I'm sure you think CJ Bacher is...
Yeah. And Adam Weber is--
yep.
Which means Allan Evridge, Daryll Clark, and David Cone are all especially...
Garbidge. Yep. So, that leaves... well, I guess that leaves Jake Christensen, Coach. Theee Jake Christensen. Thoughts?
Well, I don't think we got a good look at him last year; his line was never 100%, not having Bulaga and Richardson hurt, to say nothing of Kanellis and Bruggeman. And let's not even get started on the receiving corps crumbling in front of him. If you look at who his top 4 targets were a month before the season, none were left by halftime of the Wisconsin game, and only Stross played a single snap after that. Heck, he only had three scholarship receivers against Purdue. Nobody can win like that.
...
...rreeeally? Nothing bad to say about the worst passer in the Big Ten last y--
Well, that's all true, but
Okay, that was only a matter of time.
Bye everyone.