Scene: On the outskirts of the forested Chinese wilderness. Beijing's lights burn brightly miles away. One tall Chinaman leads a dozen Americans up toward a wooded area.
Yao, in his spindly 7'6" majesty, walks across the patch with ease.
The players walk with trepidation across the leaves while Yao waits at the other end. Suddenly, as they near the middle of the patch...
The ground swings wide open, and all the athletes tumble into the pit below. Several Chinese patrolmen spring up from their grassy hiding spots.
Meanwhile, at Camp America in Beijing...
Two guns click next to the Americans' temples, as uniformed guards step forward from behind the men.
Ouw pwoud countwy has suffewed fow too rong in the depawtment of sugawy, tasty bevewages. You hubwistic Amewicans sit at home in youw Ray-Z-Boys and drink youw Coca-Cora and youw Pepsi! Not anymowe! With this money, I pran to buy the entiwe worrd suppry of Merro Yerro and give it to the gweat and grorious nation of China!
We'll do as you say, just don't you goddamn dare hurt my boys! I come from Duke and we all know very important lawyers and congresspeople, and if you put one hair out of place on even Tayshaun Prince's head, you can kiss your protected trade status goodbye!
Two reports of a silenced gun ring out, and the armed guards slump to the ground.
For one, I won't pretend like I like Mello Yello or drink it on a regular basis; I don't. it's a bunch of sugar. But it's also highly radioactive and easily refined into weapons-grade plutonium. If he gets his tiny Chinese hands
TO BE... CONCLUDED!