HELLO AGAIN INTERNET, THIS IS MR. PATERNO, THANK YOU
THAT NO-GOOD LAZY SPANIARD OOPS POW SURPRISE HAS ASKED ME TO WRITE TO YOU ABOUT HIS GOINGS-ON ELSEWHERE
HE SAID HE WOULD DO THIS HIMSELF, BUT HE CAN'T ON ACCOUNT OF TOO MUCH WORK BEFORE HIM AFTER A LONG WEEKEND
I DID NOT KNOW SELF-ABUSE WHILE WATCHING THE WIGGLES WAS NOW REFERRED TO AS WORK
Hey!
WELL, LOOK WHO IT IS, IF YOU HAVE TIME TO PROTEST, YOU HAVE TIME TO WRITE A POST
Just write the thing and I'll let you have your scotch and ginger ale.
MINE MINE MINE
IT IS TIME TO GET STARTED. FIRST OF ALL THIS IDIOT SON OF MINE
Hello!
HAS BEEN BLOBBING ON A "WEBSITE" FOR BAROCK O'BOMBER. AS YOU CAN TELL I DO NOT TRUST ANYONE WITH A NAME SO REMINISCENT OF THE IRA AND OTHER DRUNKEN MISCREANTS
AS A REPUBLICAN, THOUGH, I FEEL SECURE IN MY POLITICAL STANCE
IF ANTHONY MORELLI IS ANY INDICATION OF MY SON'S POWERS, O'BOMBER WILL LOSE THE ELECTION BY 10 POINTS AND GO TO THE CFL
Yes we can! Yes we can!
YOU HAVE NEVER DONE ANYTHING
NEXT WE HAVE THE ISSUE OF A GREG SCHIANO, WITH WHOM I HAVE SPOKEN EXTENSIVELY, RECRUITING LIKE THE GANG BUSTERS IN NEW JERSEY
I TOOK A TRIP TO NEW JERSEY RECENTLY
IT WAS FULL OF TROLLS, MONSTERS, AND THE QUESTIONABLY ETHNIC
THE ARIZONA DIAMONDBACKS
Wildcats.
SILENCE YOU GRINGO
Do you even know what that means? You don't, do you?
MR. PATERNO WILL BE FINE
I didn't say yo
THANK YOU
...
THE ARIZONA RATTLESNAKES WILL BE TAKING THEIR PLAYERS TO AN ARMY BASE IN THE DESERT FOR A PERIOD OF FOUR DAYS THIS SUMMER TO WORK WITH SOME REAL AMERICANS
I ONCE SPENT A YEAR ON AN ARMY BASE WITH GENERAL GEORGE PATTON. HE HAD A SAYING I WAS QUITE FOND OF
Oh, you mean "An army is a team. It lives, eats, sleeps, fights as a team. This individuality stuff is a bunch of bullshit."?
WHO THE HELL ARE YOU
NO
I AM REFERRING TO "FETCH ME A HOOKER WHILE I STUFF THIS ORPHAN FULL OF NUKES"
That doesn't even make
I SAID SILENCE YOU OVERGROWN IRISHMAN
I am not a filthy Ir
THEN WHOOPS BAM UNANNOUNCED POSTED A YOUTUBE OF MEN BEING FLATTENED
THIS I ACTUALLY HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH
DID YOU KNOW VIRGINIA TECH WILL BE UNIFORMLY AWFUL ON OFFENSE THIS YEAR
THIS IS ALL KARMIC RETRIBUTION FOR STEALING KEVIN JONES FROM US
What's up with you and Karma? Doesn't that seem a little... Eastern for your tastes?
ONE MORE WORD OUT OF YOUR POLISH MOUTH AND I WILL CLAW YOUR EYES OUT WITH AN ANGERED BADGER
That doesn't seem
EN GARDE, FAT MAN
Yeep!
FINALLY, PEACE AND QUIET IN THE BLACK HEART GOLD PANTALOONS
GOOD CHRIST YOU SPANIARD, HOW MANY AOL ARTICLES DID YOU WRITE LAST WEEK
SECRETARY, FIND THAT DRUNK MISCREANT AND MAKE HIM ANSWER ME
He's hiding. He said you threatened him with a vicious land animal and he doesn't have health insurance.
HE IS JUST TIMID ENOUGH TO PLAY QUARTERBACK
New recruit!
I DO NOT HAVE THE PATIENCE TO DISCUSS EVERYTHING THIS RETARD WROTE
IT IS TIME FOR THE JOEPA MEMORIAL LIGHTNING ROUND
Memorial?
BRAAAAAIIIIINSSSS
Aaaaaaaiiiiigh!!!
LET US SEE, WE HAVE A MICHIGAN MAN BLOWING A HEROIC .281 ON A DUI, WHICH SCARCELY BEATS OUT WHAT BOBBY ENGRAM AND I ACCOMPLISHED. ALSO THERE IS OKLAHOMA AND OKLAHOMA STATE RUNNING AROUND LIKE A BUNCH OF IRISH IN THE SNOW. THE SEC WANTS THEIR OWN BUILDING IN BIRMINGHAM, AND I WILL BET YOU FIFTY BUFFALO NICKELS IT WILL BE A TRAILER. A YOUNG MAN AT LOUISVILLE WAS SHOT IN THE BACK, WHICH IS A COWARDLY WAY TO ATTACK AN ENEMY. MUSKETS AT DAWN, THAT IS THE JOE PATERNO WAY. THE MIAMI HURRICANE FANS WILL STILL DRINK, BECAUSE WHAT OTHER WAY TO COME DOWN FROM SEVENTY-SEVEN STRAIGHT HOURS OF COCAINE AND SEX WITH MULTIPLE PARTNERS
OH, AND MAC FACTS
ANOTHER UNLISTED MAC FACT
WHILE THEY WERE NOT LOOKING, I COMMANDED MY ARMY OF DOZENS TO TAKE THEIR CAMPUSES
YOU MAY NOW REFER TO OHIO UNIVERSITY, THE UNIVERSITY OF TOLEDO, AND BOWLING GREEN AS MR. PATERNO'S MINIONS OF TERROR
So this means you have to coach 3 new teams, and they're all in the MAC? That hardly seems like that was a good decision.
WELL
GOD DAMN IT